No Prescription for Retirement!

For the last few years before I retired, I dreamed of what it would be like to live in retirement. Not having to set an alarm, taking naps when I want to, sitting by the pool, looking up recipes and just reading for fun was what I envisioned.

I read a few books about retirement and there are many: How to Retire, 101 Fun Things to Do in Retirement, Purposeful Retirement, How to Retire Happy and What you Don't Know about Retirement. Well I have to say, they didn't quite hit the mark for me. Yes indeed, I  enjoy not setting an alarm and swimming in our pool most afternoons (thanks to the solar cover, I'm still swimming in October!) I get to peruse recipes and love dilly-dallying in my gardens.

What I did not expect however was facing health challenges and finding a new rhythm would be difficult. As some of you already know, I have trigeminal neuralgia and am still taking a chemo pill every day. Both of those medicines cause constipation. My family doctor recently added a new medication and guess what the number one side effect is - you guessed it - constipation. I told Daryl it's a whole new life when your afternoon cocktail is prune juice! Oh I have become an expert on laxatives and herbal remedies so don't send me any! The doctors have warned me to stay on top of it so I don't end up in the ER with a blockage! Yeah, I had that once, not pretty! So excuse my language but who knew retirement would be about "shit?" 

My balance is a challenge with this disease, so I now have a chair in my closet. Seems like two legs in the same pant hole is not a good idea while trying to stand! Any thing that requires bending over is probably going to end up with me on the floor or throwing up! 

Okay so then there is the brain fog. Some days it's tiring and other days Daryl and I just roar with laughter. Do you know where my glasses are? My favorite answer to that is, Yes the last time I wore them I put them in the freezer. My family never did think that was so funny! Or what day is it? Is this Wednesday or Thursday? Did I lock the door or close the garage? So I trot to double check. Thank God there is a song on my dryer and washer when it is complete or we might have laundry in there for days! And the microwave dings until you open the door! If only they would design jars and pill bottles that open easier! 

Recently my dear friends Ann and Joyce came to visit us. It was grand. We have been friends for over 40 years! So we were playing rummikub and I put out a small snack of crackers and cheese. A few days after they left, I said to Daryl, did you finish the cheese that was in that container? No he said, I thought you did. Well, I can't find it anywhere. A few days later I was reorganizing the pantry (because I now have time to do it and it seems like a fun thing to do in retirement) and low and behold, there is the container of cheese! It was a little soft but still edible. I wonder what else I will find in there! Anyway we had a good laugh and as long as I don't mix up the hemorrhoid medicine and the toothpaste I think I can manage!

So Daryl and I have learned to give each other a lot of grace in retirement. We don't fret the small things and we try to go to the beach at least once a week because that is one of the reasons we moved here. Daryl was finally able to fly his stunt kite as you can see in the photos. The wind was great and the beach wasn't too occupied. 

All in all, I'm loving retirement even with its aches and pains. I believe there is no set prescription for retirement. Every person will live their own version of it. Mine keeps changing daily. I am getting used to the fact that I don't have a schedule and I like that. I try to move slowly but if you know me at all, you know I don't usually have a slow gear. I'm an "all or nothing" kind of gal! 

I've received great comfort in the sermon by our Pastor Jason last week. He told us how God uses the most unlikely to do God's work. He told the story of David, a murderer, an adulterer, a thief and outright scoundrel. Yet God chose him to lead the people. "God sees the heart," he said. He knows us even when we try to put on a good act. I love that. God knows all of me and still loves me. Every night I sing this song, "Lord Jesus I long to be perfectly whole, I want You forever to Live in My soul!" It comforts me. It's an old hymn from my childhood and not all of it fits with my theology of God but I'll take its resonance in my heart. 

So today may you be blessed with the moments you are in right now. May the peace of God sit on your shoulder and carry you through the day! Whether you are retired or working, may you find time to smile, knowing I love you and you make my life a blessing. Joy in the Journey! Bonnie Lee

Jardin de la Pais

Dear friends, it has been quite some time since I have written. First of all, I have been gardening and processing my soul in the dirt! Oh how glorious for the most part, but then again there is the back ache, the dizziness, because I am challenged at the moment with medications that affect my balance, and the ability to know when enough is enough seems to have lost its meaning on me! Daryl recently had to set the limit when I was sick from heat exhaustion. Now that fall has entered our lovely land, I am in my glory! Every morning I walk and check on things and then again in the evening. Yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon,  I abandoned all hope of doing laundry and instead sat in the garden! This has to be the best part about retirement! I can do what I want, when I want!

These cannas lilies you see to the right were just little plants in a pot. Now they are thriving as they have been given room to grow! Isn't that the way we are too? When not stymied by the opinions of others, the rhetoric of today's politics and our own unreasonable expectations of ourselves, we are open to possibilities that can promote peace and progress in our lives.

As you already know from a previous blog, in the entryway to my Zen Pen (my little room of calm) is a painting of Jesus washing the feet of another individual. I'm challenged every time I see it to ponder on my own service to others. Most often I pray in the morning, Jesus, whom would you like me to serve today. Mother Teresa once said, In my work, I belong to the whole world, but in my heart, I belong to Christ. I love that about her and her life was an obvious rendition of keeping those priorities intact. I'm challenged by them though. As a matter of fact, Jesus and me had a tough talk the other day. Why in the world my beloved brother Christ would you let me retire and then give me trigeminal neuralgia which can incapacitate me on any given day!?! I hit the dirt hard that day and sighed again and again.

It's a good thing God and Jesus have big shoulders because they can take what I say and don't yell or get mad. Honestly though, that is not my belief about the Trinity.  My dear friends Joyce and Ann recently came to visit us which delighted me no end, and as we tried to wrap our heads around all the violence in our world we discussed the omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence of God. I do not believe that God sends things to challenge me or make life hard, but I am aware that some people find comfort in believing that God is in control of everything. I know that God is present in all things but crap in life happens and so we have decisions about it. Do we blame someone, do we hunker down and just get through it, are we grateful for life itself or do we find ways to manage the sad and difficult issues in our lives with ernest prayer and hopefulness? I imagine for those suffering from chronic illnesses that this is a reality they often face. They are brave souls indeed!

So I'm choosing to remember that in my heart, I belong to Christ, and that makes all the difference in how I serve the world. The garden brings the joy and hope in my whole being. I laugh, I smile, I contemplate and am filled with gratitude at each new bud, each green shoot that startles me with splendor. That joy just wells up and I want to share it with others. It is my prayer that today you will engage in a nugget of life that causes you to be engulfed in hope. I have many friends on Facebook who post photos of their trips, their children, their gardens, books they have read or funny things that have happened to them. You my dear ones, inspire me! I try to make sure I click on "like" or make a comment so you know I am listening. 

I close with a quote from Maya Angelou. Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good. Love to you all! Bonnie Lee Joy in the Journey