The dilemma of blessings

It’s been a while since I’ve written and it’s because I’ve been resisting it. The title might give you a hint as to why I’m having such a hard time.

If you know me well, you know that I can never hide my true feelings and my emotions of what I am experiencing. Right now I am having incredible joy. Retirement is far better than what I anticipated. I’m able to make sourdough bread every week, plan menus, and cook healthy meals, do my laundry whenever I need to, and sleep whenever I want.

I’m enjoying house cleaning and nesting and gardening. I had no idea that this was all so much fun and wonderful. I am reaping the benefits of this self-care by weight loss and some of my blood work is really good.

So then, what is the problem? It is this. I’m so blessed and yet I see so much pain and agony all around me. Reading the news makes me distraught and angry.The injustices and the climate issues are frightening.

I’m not used to having such blessings. This past week I was talking to our son JORDAN about my struggle with it. He said, “Mom you have spent your whole life serving others now it’s time to serve yourself.”

Wise words, indeed, but remember, I was raised in a culture, a very conservative Christian culture, that told me to die to self. The one family with whom I lived, would not even let us have a mirror because to look in a mirror was to be vain. We were not allowed to have musical instruments because they were of the devil and could be used for wickedness like dancing. It was a sin to spend money on one’s self unless absolutely necessary. It took me many years to love myself and it is no wonder that God called me to serve others because there is my strength that came amid all that negativity.

I absolutely loved being a pastor, and while it was exhausting, it was also energizing and led me to deep spiritual depths that I might not have otherwise experienced. I was blessed to have a window into the lives of others as we both impacted each other in finding the holy in every moment.

Then why is it so hard for me to accept these blessings? Daryl and I have worked since we were 15 years old. We have scrimped and saved and often worked two and three jobs at a time. We tried to be generous and continually support several other families financially.

I’ve never thought of myself as keeping score with God, that if I bless others, God will bless me. However, this season of my life so far is beyond my wildest expectations. I actually thought I’d never get here.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, the second time I begged God to let me live until retirement. And now I am thriving. Yes there are still medical issues and I’m seeing a ton of specialists to try to deal with them, but for the most part every day is a miracle.

Sometimes DARYL and I look at each other and say we have to pinch ourselves to make sure this is real.

But then there’s that little guilt lurking thinking maybe I shouldn’t have it so nice. Wondering if those of you who are reading this will think that I’m too extravagant.

I can’t quite reconcile at all yet, but I’m gonna tell you I am going to revel in it. My family is so supportive of us and encourages me to just accept the blessings and the reward of our labors.

I know too that with blessing comes responsibility. DARYL and I are finding ways to share what we have with others.

I’m not ready to sign on any board yet, I’m not ready to be on a committee. It’s just too soon. I’m catching my breath and asking God to let me be her servant.

Thank you all for being here for me as you always have been, through thick and thin you have been the extraordinary blessing in my life. May something marvelously surprising give you joy today. Love to you all, Bonnie Lee.

We end the journey with a bang!

Our last night in Asheville, North Carolina ended up being quite eventful. As we were ready to go to bed a big storm came up. DARYL went outside to put the awning down so that it wouldn’t blow in the wind. All of a sudden it wouldn’t work. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get the latch to work. So he tilted the side the best he could so the rain would run off of it and the wind wouldn’t catch it.

I went to bed praying that it would work in the morning. However, when we got up, it was the same way that it was when we went to bed. We messed with it and tried all kinds of things and we could not get it to work. We put in several phone calls to mobile RV repair people and only found one person who said that he could possibly help us but it wouldn’t be till noon. We said OK well if we don’t find anybody else then come on over.

About that time, the custodian of the campground came by on his golf cart, as he was emptying trash. He said “ Are you having a problem ?” and we said yes. So DARYL showed him what the problem was. He tried to fix it and couldn’t fix it either. So DARYL said “I think we need to take it apart and then maybe manually roll it up.” But we didn’t have a ladder. No problem. Jose as it turns out, was our angel. He went and got a ladder and stood up on it and helped DARYL take it apart and then roll it up. They put the screws back in to hold it tightly and taped it with electrical tape. The photo you see is of Jose giving me the thumbs up. He was so excited when I asked if I could take his picture.

It is amazing how people are so generous with their kindness. We have found that to be true over and over.

We stopped at the welcome station when we hit the South Carolina border. As we entered the visitation area, a young woman greeted us. “Where are you from?” She asked. DARYL told her that we were moving from California and that we were going to our new home in South Carolina. “Welcome home,” she said.

Her statement caught us up short. This is our home now. That was an odd feeling to both DARYL and me. For the rest of the trip I reflected on the fact that South Carolina is now my new home. It doesn’t feel like home yet. The landscape is so unfamiliar, the dialect is quite different, the food is interesting, and I don’t have many friends yet.

I was feeling sad on the trip home, and it was somewhat unexpected. While I am very eager for this new life of retirement, it is also a huge transition. We will have a new church, new doctors, new bank, new neighborhood, and so many things to which we will be adjusting. While I usually like change, it’s all a bit unsettling. My usual optimistic nature took a backseat to my melancholy spirit.

What did bring me joy however, was when I walked into our home, I immediately felt at peace. The surroundings comforted me. There was my little Zen Pen studio ready and waiting for my creative spirit. DARYL‘s organ stands stately in the corner soon to be swelling with beautiful music. I turned on all the lights in the bedroom and just sat there a minute being so happy that I could sleep in my own bed tonight.

I am aware that with this move there will be many emotions swimming around in me. Sometimes I’m gonna let them just sit there, and contemplate the goodness of them. Other times I’ll dive in and see where they might lead me.

Through it all, I do know that I am incredibly blessed and I’m thankful that our trip went as well as it did. DARYL said the other day that “Home is wherever we are.” How true that is and we will certainly make this place a safe and sacred Haven.

All across the country, DARYL and I saw so much poverty. There were many people living in RV’s. There are trailers with tarps on the roofs. There are rusted out cars decking front yards. There were shacks that look practically like they’re going to fall over, but a light still cast out the darkness. There were people without homes holding signs asking for money. We saw workers doing extremely hard labor in the heat. All these folk striving to make a living and a home for themselves. I prayed for them to feel secure.

It’s time to be thankful once again for our little bit of heaven on earth. Tonight for your blessing, I pray that you are wrapped in the comfort of a safe place. May your home be a nook of love and peace. Wherever you are, know you are loved, Bonnie Lee.

An Eventful Day!

Well, today was most unusual. We drove from Nashville to Asheville and what a time we had.

The event started when we stopped for gas at an Exxon in Nashville. While backing up, I scraped a woman’s car who was parked at the gas station. No damage was done to the RV and hardly any damage to her car, but I just felt terrible about it. DARYL and I were both pretty shook up but by the time I got out of the RV, the owner of the car was comforting me. It’s OK she said. At first she was horrendously upset. But her coworker, (because they both were working at the Exxon,) told her and DARYL that it was OK. “There are no broken bones. Nobody was hurt and the car is only slightly damaged,” he said.

When I got out of my vehicle to talk with her, she was on the phone with someone. The person on the phone was saying to her. “It’s OK. You can’t change what’s already happened you have to just accept it.” The girl told the person on the phone that she didn’t have any car insurance. The woman said, “well you can’t do anything about it now so you have to just go with it.” I told her that I have insurance and I would make a claim right away. I actually did that. Tennessee is an “at fault” state so my insurance has to pay. I have State Farm and I have to tell you they were excellent with me on the phone.

I texted the young woman to tell her that I had made the claim and they would be calling her in a day or two. I told her that I was sorry this had happened. We had a fabulous text exchange. She told me that her coworker was like family and that they were all cool and that it was OK. What remarkable people they were. She could’ve been cussing me out. Instead she was kind and gentle with me. DARYL said she was initially upset, but that her coworker calmed her down. I was happy to find out too that I don’t have a deductible for that kind of accident.

The next part of the journey that was stressful was there were about 12 miles of one lane traffic. The sign said that you should not go on the road if your vehicle was 8 1/2 feet wide. Our RV is 8’5” wide. So imagine my tension as I drove through a cattle chute once again. It went fine though.

We arrived at our campsite and immediately it began to downpour. You can see our view from our window. We managed to get a break in the storm to go get some dinner.

In spite of everything, it truly was beautiful driving through the Smoky Mountains. DARYL and I were reminiscing about all the many memories we have made while camping and visiting there over the years. I especially remember some almond crusted trout and tubing down the mountain streams which ended with me in the ER. We laugh about it now and are so grateful we have those memories. We are certainly gonna come camping in the smoky mountains!

Tomorrow is the day we arrive at our new home at Myrtle Beach. It has been a long, wonderful drive and we will be glad to be nestled in our own beds and start our new adventures there.

Today, I’m especially grateful for the kindness of strangers. I’m also incredibly thankful that my sweet husband DARYL did not yell at me when I backed into a car. He is so kind that way. He was very reassuring to me and we talked about adjustments we might need to make in the future when backing up. He was so gentle. He is like that you know. Never yelling but always concerned for my well-being. What a treasure!

You know, for a few miles down the road I really beat myself up. How could I have made such a stupid mistake I thought. But life is full of mistakes. I’m glad that the one I made today did not harm anyone. Sometimes it’s harder to forgive oneself than forgiving others. I had to let it go and leave it in the hands of the insurance people and realize that it’s probably not the last mistake I’m gonna make.

My blessing for you tonight is to love yourself. Through all the foibles of life and the ups and downs that we actually create, let’s love ourselves. We are made in the image of our great creator and so worthy of good love. I pray that you’ll meet people like I did, that give you grace even when you don’t deserve it. Remember, I love you all, Bonnie Lee.

Tired!

So the Day began with me talking to God about my RV. I said “God if you’re interested in being a mechanic today, could you please fix my cruise control?” Now I know for some of you this might seem sacrilegious. However, I talk to God about everything. Little things, big things, hurts, joys; you name it and I talk to God about it! God is big enough to hear it. Now I don’t actually think God played mechanic today, but I have to tell you that my cruise control worked. What a major blessing. So what did I do? I thanked God!

This might not fit in with your theology of prayer and how prayers are answered and what we should take to God, but it was a joy just the same. I also took to God all the hurting families from the storms, I asked for safety for our trip, I prayed for those of you for struggling in your jobs and in relationships. I prayed for our politicians, I prayed for our world. Things seem a bit messy now so prayer is mighty important. God comforted me through it today.

I did get more comments about my hair but in Kentucky it was from a young fellow at the gas station.”Why miss, I jest love that thar pink hair of yours! It’s mighty nice on ya!” I thanked him and said “You are kind to say so!”

That’s all for today folks! This entry is gonna be short and sweet. We went through four states. Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, and Tennessee. As you can see from the picture, I’m exhausted. I had my beer, now I’m going to bed. May your sleep be sweet! Love you all, Bonnie Lee

A tiresome drive!

Today was a rather long and weary one. We drove from Saint Joseph, Missouri to St. Louis, Missouri. The scenery was pretty much the same the whole way. However, this is a photo that DARYL took of me in the van driving and you can see the beautiful clouds. Aren’t they magnificent!?!

The driving was tough, as there were many automobiles on the road. Also, there were a lot more cattle chutes today and my cruise control stopped working on the RV.

So of course I needed to stop for Starbucks. What an adventure that was. I think the sign on my forehead that says “talk to me” must’ve been blinking in neon. I walked in and said to the barista, “how are you today?” She said, “Do you want the robotic answer or the real truth?” I told her “Only the truth with me honey.” (You see I’m into my Southern dialect already where it’s honey this and honey that! I don’t mind a bit!) And boy did I get an earful. “It’s been a terrible day,” She said. “It’s a Monday and it’s been crazy busy and nobody’s happy. But I have off tomorrow so I’m gonna recoup.” Then the other worker came over and said yeah it’s been a crappy day. and she told me about her events. “Well, I’m really sorry about all that,” I said to them. “I just would love for you gals to have a really happy afternoon. You just made my day by making me this mocha.” Then they asked me all kinds of questions. What are you doing today? So I told them about our cross country trip. Then that got them excited so now all three baristas came over to the counter. I was the only customer. I asked them where they were from and they told me their stories. “We just live in a boring place like Missouri,” they said. “You’re going somewhere exciting. Good for you!” I told them to keep saving their money and tucking a little away and their time will come too to be able to go where they want.

I wished them a great afternoon and told them that I hope it was much better than the morning. They said they were so glad I stopped in and when was I coming again. I said “Well I do t suppose I’ll be back because I’m going to Myrtle Beach to live!” So after a much longer visit at Starbucks than I anticipated, I went back to the RV where DARYL was waiting for me. “You won’t believe what happened,” I said. “It was another truth telling session.” We laughed together and are grateful for the opportunity to make someone’s day better.

The other great thing that happened to me was that two people made my day. When I walked into our hotel to register and gave them my license, they both looked at me and said “you are way cool, Mrs. HOLLINGER. We love that pink hair of yours.It is just fantastic.” They just made an ordeal about it. They were glad I came to stay and were enthusiastic in letting me know about the hotel. “If you need anything at all, we are here for you,” they said. What a grand welcome.

DARYL says if we had a quarter for every time somebody mentioned my hair we would be rich by now. I’m glad it makes people happy because it makes me happy. Some of you might be wondering why I do it. But after CANCER when my hair grew in curly and white, I wanted to do something different. I just felt like I needed a little pizazz thus the pink. It’s a reminder to me of life and healing!

We did go for a swim after getting settled in. Once we were refreshed, we dressed for dinner and the photo is a picture of me ready for my date with DARYL.

The closer we get to home the more I am eager to be there. But today we were both very sentimental about our friends in California. We really miss you all and are feeling the loss. I told DARYL it’s OK for us to grieve. We have loved deeply and been loved immensely. So of course we will feel the loss.

Today I went through some photos and sent a few to some of you. I was reminiscing about good times with you. That’s what life is about- making memories that warm the heart each time you think of those marvelous escapades we’ve had together.

So tonight, before you say your prayers and get tucked into bed, think about some marvelous times you’ve had with friends. Cherish them and maybe send them a note to let them know how much they mean to you. As we are so tragically aware of the lives lost in Texas, we can be reminded to treasure every moment. I agonize for those parents. The death of a child is severe, and it will take much love and comfort for them to hang onto life in this difficult time. Let us collectively lift them up to God for mercy and grace. And may the peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds to Christ Jesus, amen. Love you all Bonnie Lee.

We did it!

Well, if you’ve been following our continuing saga, you will know that I chose a campground a few nights ago that turned out to be not suitable at all. Well today we had a winner. This is called AOK campground and it is definitely OK. You can see from the photo our beautiful site on the little pond. It also has a great swimming pool where we cooled off after a hot day of driving.

The little fellow you see there is a thirteen-lined ground squirrel that was eating outside our RV. He is most unusual and DARYL got such a great picture of him. What a delight that we could see him.

Being on the road on a Sunday was most unusual for DARYL and me. We have been going to church on Sundays for all our married life. But we prayed and sang songs of praise to God for the beautiful day.

We started out in Nebraska and we saw field after field of corn. It certainly was knee-high by the Fourth of July as Mickey says. However, in comparison, when we left Myrtle Beach, the corn was 6 feet tall and had tassels. We were already eating delicious corn on the cob.

We went through Iowa and are now in Missouri. The green grasses are lush and there are thick dense forests with lots of bushy trees. I don’t really know what they are and of course whizzing by at 60 miles an hour; couldn’t tell what they were. They were beautiful just the same.

I did get to see a crop duster very close up and it is astonishing how close he gets to the plants and then swooshes back up into the air!

Some folk were concerned about the tropical storm headed to Myrtle Beach and up the coast. However, today it is sunny and there is no rain at our home. My dear neighbor Christa is keeping an eye on things!!

I certainly appreciate all the comments that you have been making about my blog on FACEBOOK, email, and on the blog site. However, Diane Hosmer gets the award for the funniest response to my gecko story. Her comment was “maybe he’s selling car insurance.” I think that gal better take up comedy routines!

As some of you will remember, DARYL says he thinks I have a magnet on my forehead that says “talk to me.” Well, it happened at the pool again today. I said hello to a woman sitting on the steps and she began to tell me her story. It was very sad in many ways. Her husband had died two years ago and so she lost all his Social Security income. She had to have knee replacements and so is unable to walk very far. She lost her home so she is staying permanently at this campground. She shared that her daughter bought the camper for her and it’s the only thing she can afford. “I really like it here though” she said. “The owners are so nice to me. And my grandchildren come see me and go to swim in the pool with me.”

“You don’t ask for this kind of life,”she said, “but it happens.” I witnessed her bright smile and her great joy at being with her grandchildren. I’ll be honest with you. My dilemma is that I have so much and my blessings are overflowing. I wish there was a way I could share with her. Yet here she is celebrating the corner of life that she has eked out for herself. I think she liked my company and being able to talk with someone so perhaps that a gift in a small way.

I said to her, “it must be tough having worked all your life, and your husband working all his life and now you don’t get the benefit of that.” “Yes,” she said, “but there’s nothing I can do about it.”

As we left the pool, she bid me a lovely smile and said to have a wonderful time. She was still throwing balls with the grandchildren in the water.

So my beloved, count your treasures, and your blessings this night. Count the little tiny things that mean a lot to you. Value the special coffee cup, or the afghan made for you by the church ladies, the flowers in your yard, a very soft pillow, and your animals. Make sure you put something away for a rainy day if at all possible and learn to be thankful! I’m counting my blessings and my new friend is one of them! Luv you all, Bonnie Lee.

A rather quiet day!

Today was a rather quiet day. We drove from Laramie, Wyoming to Kearney, Nebraska. It was one of our longest days for driving. As you can see from the first picture, we needed some respite after all those miles. So there is DARYL with his favorite blonde.

The second photo really shows what we saw for miles and miles. Lots and lots of green grass and very small trees according to our standards in Calaveras County. I did see lots of rolls of hay bales and it was so picturesque. Parts of the area reminded me of the story book “Little House on the Prairie.”

I kept thinking today of my dear friend Mickey because this is the state where she was raised. So I can tell you they raise good things here because she’s a good woman. I now understand better why she loves things of the Earth and revels in nature and walking.

Route 80 was full of traffic and there’s quite a bit of construction on the long stretch. I do not like the cattle chutes at all, especially when driving a wide RV but I did just fine.

I did have a very strange thing happen. A gecko ran across the highway and got to the center striped lines and stood up on his hind legs! I don’t know what he thought he was doing. It was incredibly dangerous and there he was just upright looking around. Cars were whizzing by at 80 miles a hour!! The last I saw of him, he was still standing. It makes me wonder if his gecko friends dared him to do it to see if he could get across and still live. Nature sure has its oddities, doesn’t it? I’m still thinking of him tonight and hoping he was OK. That daredevil!

We found a place to have dinner on the lake and it was just lovely. Several people have suggested places for us to go for sightseeing. I’m just too tired to do it. After the long trips, it’s just marvelous to prop up and read and settle in with my sweetheart.

Today, as I think about all the families, torn by the storms and the flooding, my heart grieves with them. DARYL and I are still grieving over the death of our dear friend, John David Wissler and so we know there are many people suffering today and our hearts weep with them.

So how shall I bless you this day? Life is short my dear ones, life is short. Treasure every moment you have. Even when the going is rough, be thankful that you have the breath to go through it. Immerse yourself in the beautiful spirit of the holy one, and be embraced by God’s good love.

Today, as I drove, I kept singing the song Great is God‘s Faithfulness. I especially like the part that says morning by morning new mercies I see. May God‘s mercy be with all those suffering this day. Loving you from afar, Bonnie Lee.

Today was wild!

Well, I suppose every adventure has to have a wild side to it. Today was surely that. It started out beautifully, but we soon hit a lot of wind in Wyoming. It was so windy that I-80 was closed to campers weighing less than 20,000 pounds. We are fortunate that we have an RV and it actually does weigh more than 20,000 pounds when loaded so we were OK. But the wind was wicked and I had to drive slower than I hoped. But Tranquility held her own and we did fine. The fiasco started when we arrived at our campsite.

Oh my, I’m not sure where they got the photographs that they posted on their website, but it certainly was not where we ended up. We pulled into a place that first of all was bug ridden. We couldn’t get out of the vehicles without being attacked. Trash and falling down roofs on mobile homes dotted the area. Many repairs were needed just about everywhere we looked. Secondly, trying to find the office was an ordeal because we had to go past many trailers until we found it. No one answered the doorbell so I called her on the phone. “Yes,” the lady said “I’ll be right there.” She came and showed us the place. “Where are the hook ups?” I asked her. “Well,” she said, “It might be a little bit of problem getting electricity. You see we have to call the electric company and it’s July 4 and I’m not sure there’s gonna be any body there to give you electricity.” “Where are the Sewer hook ups?” “Oh, we don’t really have any of those.” I looked at her and said, “So I don’t get a full 30/50 amp and Sewer hook up like I paid for online?” She shook her head and I said. “I don’t really think this meets my needs.” “OK,” she said “I’ll refund your money.

Well, that would’ve been well and good if that is all that happened but backing out I hit a post. I didn’t do any damage to the RV and DARYL was able to put the post back up but it still made me feel a little foolish. The roads were so rough going in and the potholes so deep that when we went to use the toilet in the RV, we discovered the bathroom shelf completely fell off the wall and crashed onto the sink. The most amazing thing is that the mirrors, the lightbulbs and none of the toiletries were broken, we now just have holes in the walls. DARYL and I managed to detach the electrical component and get the cabinet off the counter and now we have to put it somewhere until we are home! We definitely do not have the tools required to put it back up on this trip.

”So where to now?” DARYL asked. “Let me see if there’s a hotel anywhere nearby.” Sure enough we found a Fairfield Inn a mile and a half away. Due to our elite status because of our daughter’s employment by Marriott, we got an unbelievable rate. The rate was actually $15 cheaper than the RV park would’ve been and it includes a cooked free breakfast. So you might say the Saints are looking after us after all.

A clean bed, no bugs, and plumbing that works. How marvelous is that!

We had leftovers for dinner in our quiet room and are settling in for a good nights rest. We need it after all those shenanigans.

We were sad to hear that our dear friend John David Wissler passed away. He is a phenomenal artist and we have two of his lovely paintings. He did a painting for DARYL of the area where we stayed when we used to vacation at the beach together. We are going to really miss him. He was only 62 years old and died suddenly.

So as I reflect on the events of the day, I still feel blessed. I’m deeply loved and able to laugh when tough things come our way.

I have been planning to remodel the RV in my retirement and so now the bathroom will get an earlier remodel than I anticipated.

You know the saying, ‘when life gives you lemons, makes lemonade.’ I often say to DARYL, “well if we did that, we’d have a pool of lemonade by now.”

But my blessedness is that I have somebody with whom to make lemonade, go with me on the road unknown, and find joy all along the way!

So what is my blessing for you today on this July 4? It is that you will revel in the things that bring you happiness. I pray that you will not let the frustrations of politics weigh you down. Today I met exceptionally kind people, and that is my America. Together with gracious hearts and generous spirits, we will build a stronger country that welcomes all people and creates a just world for all.

I will close with the benediction song that Daryl wrote. May God be gracious unto us, and love us and bless and may God‘s face shine on us, amen. Luv you all, Bonnie Lee

The beauty of the earth heals me!

Well, it’s a really good thing that there was so much beauty on our drive today. Because the political situation really ticked me off. Since DARYL and I are driving separately, I had my own little session with God and all of the Saints. I wrestled for a while, but the beauty of what I was seeing as I drove, shook the anger away.

A lot of the land was desert; barren with dark black rocks jutting out becoming rugged mountains. I kept saying to myself what in the world could possibly live here. Was I ever in for a surprise. About a mile after I made that statement I saw a pronghorn antelope in Utah. It was gorgeous. I have never seen one before and I actually had to look it up to see what it was.

Further along on the highway we came to the salt flats. We stopped at Bonneville where the speed records had been set. That was quite an interesting story. And some of the photos that you see here were taken by DARYL at that spot. But later on we saw salt lakes and areas where there were thousands of birds. There were grebes, snowy egrets and I think I even saw a white faced ibis! How I wish I could have stopped!

I became so thankful to see the beauty all around me. Even in its starkness it was enchanting. I don’t think I could live there though. I’m a person who loves the trees and roses and irises. Somebody said to me that it’s boring across Nevada and Utah. Boring is really not in my vocabulary. Wherever I look, I see inspiration, contemplation, history, and lives that when they become intertwined with mine, enrich my moments.

I thank God for the great beauty and I asked God to help me not have a bitter spirit about all that’s happening in the world, that I don’t like. For so many weeks I wrote letters and called my senators and representatives to try to beg them to please think of the poor in our country. It feels like I failed. But I’m not gonna let that stop me. I’m gonna let my joy burst out and share it with everyone I meet. I’m going to help those who are poor as much as I can. Maybe it will catch on and we as a community will be the changes that this country needs.

Tranquility (that’s our RV) continues to purr along just beautifully. She’s an old gal and so doesn’t cool down inside very easily. I love putting the window down but the bugs love coming inside too. So it doesn’t really last too long; just enough time to get my hair messed up as you can tell from the photo.

It’s OK. DARYL says my hair is wild just like me! I did promised him in our wedding vows that he would never be bored and he assures me that I have kept that promise!

I always like to end my block with a blessing for you. Those of you who are reading this most likely blessed me beyond measure. So tonight, I pray that you will have a peaceful sleep, something funny about which to laugh, and a loving moment with someone you cherish. i’m so tired, but I’m gonna make sure I snuggle with my sweetheart before I fall asleep. Love you all, Bonnie Lee.

It’s a beautiful world!

Today we began our journey across America. We’re leaving California to return to our new home in Loris, South Carolina. After a beautiful two days with our dear friends, Jeri and Gary; and being able to see a few other precious neighbors, we left early to begin The Adventure.

We stopped at Starbucks in Angels Camp, CA so I could get my favorite drink and DARYL his strong coffee. We are grateful for the Starbucks gift cards we received because they are really coming in handy! The staff at the Starbucks allowed me to take their picture because I told them this was where we were beginning a long journey. They were full of smiles and happy to oblige. Two gentlemen were sitting close by and asked if I wanted their picture too. I didn’t do it and in retrospect I really should have. Isn’t it marvelous how complete strangers engage in your life and want to be part of something out of the ordinary?

We had not driven the RV for a number of years and so after having it serviced, we were hoping and praying that it will do well. It purred along fantastically over route 88 and I thrived on the scenery. I rolled my windows down and let the wind bash my hair. I was singing so loudly and so vigorously that DARYL had to call me from the vehicle in which he was following me to say I was weaving on the road. I had to settle down a bit and pay attention to driving. I’m driving the RV and he’s driving the truck. It means that we each have to do a lot of driving instead of switching off, but it’s just fine.

Since we got up so early, we arrived at our campsite mid afternoon. It isn’t exactly what is pictured on the website. It’s called CANDY Beach. First of all, there is no beach. Secondly, when we arrived there, no one was there to greet us. The gorgeous bathrooms pictured online are nonexistent. We could not find a place to sign in. So I called the number and got a message that said “we are not taking overnighters. If you’re interested in a long-term rental, leave your phone number.” I took a chance and left my name and phone number and told them that I had been promised a spot. Very quickly I received a phone call and they said yes they would have a spot for me. So DARYL got the RV set up and hooked up and I started cleaning and nesting inside.

Our RV is named Tranquility and absolutely it does bring that to my life. Our dear friend, Lucie reupholstered the chairs and the valances around the windows as I’m getting ready to do a remodel project On the RV in my retirement.

There’s something incredibly serene about this little home on wheels that I just adore. It takes me to new places, let’s me meet new people and yet requires very little work.

Today I saw all kinds of Incredible life. There was a marmot who scurried off the road so I wouldn’t hit him. There were Lupines and mule’s ears. There were trees trying to recover from fires. A tiny gecko jumped from rock to rock. Ferns thrived by the waterside of creeks in the high mountain. I witnessed red Angus and Holstein’s lying side-by-side in deep green grasses. Soon after I crossed the Nevada line, a whole horde of grasshoppers hit my windshield. I had to put the windows up quickly so they wouldn’t come and get me. John Muir would have been in heaven cause he loved grasshoppers!

We stopped in a shopping center parking lot and ate our lunch in the RV. We appreciated our simple sandwiches and are grateful for halos and bananas!

For dinner, in the little town of Lovelock, Nevada, where we are camping, we managed to find a restaurant in a casino. The town itself looks quite depressed with many empty buildings and rundown storefronts. It was hard to find a clean chair in the restaurant and DARYL and I looked at each other and said we gotta give it a try. We were pleasantly surprised at how good the food tasted. We didn’t settle for anything grand, but it was delicious. Imagine our surprise when we got a senior discount. And the waitress was incredibly kind. She seemed very delighted that we were there. I love that kind of hospitality. The kind where you receive a friendly smile and a welcome even though you’re complete strangers.

I’m convinced that if we are tender and kind, we will grow a New World. We will not let hate and bigotry and unkindness rule. One of my goals in retirement is to be tender and gentle and bring peace to everyone I meet.

I’m still settling into this retirement thing and I’m liking it very much. It’s all new though, but I like the unknown of it. I remember when I was having chemo treatments that I prayed and ask God to let me make it to retirement. Well, I did and it’s thrilling. Thanks God!

May today hold extraordinary blessings for each of you! Perhaps you will share coffee with someone new, or send a card to someone who is facing difficult challenges. Or you might be the recipient of a surprise phone call from an old friend. It could be that today is a time of healing. I pray all of this for you! That life’s joys will whoosh in and carry you to blessedness! Luv you, Bonnie Lee

Celebrating

DARYL and I recently celebrated 41 years of marriage. I posted a little collage of some photos from the last number of years on Facebook. Now while some people might despise social media, we were absolutely delighted at all the well wishes and comments from people all over the world. What a great joy for so many of you to celebrate with us. It was like we had champions for our marriage and people rooting for many beautiful days ahead. How powerful is that?

Especially since we moved to a new community, and not having made a lot of friends yet, it was exceptionally moving to receive so many Inspirational words. While social media has its fault, it certainly brings us closer to one another if we choose to use it that way.

I’m also making new friends on social media as neighbors are doing friend requests. I have a friend who has a disability that causes her to be at home and social media is a lifeline for her. So as I read and engage in content online, I remember that I might just be the hope that somebody needs for that day.

Yes, there are many things that I skip over and hit delete immediately and some things I block. I have an aversion to the F word so if you use it, I will delete that entry. It’s just my choice.

Many of you commented on the love that DARYL and I have for each other. Yes it is indeed strong and has kept me solid on many a tough day. From the outside perhaps it does look like we had it easy. But I have to tell you what I tell all the couples with whom I did marriage counseling when I was a pastor. Love is Key, sex is marvelous, but forgiveness is primary. Be quick to forgive and even quicker to say I’m sorry is the advice that I always gave. Forgiveness is not a one time thing. We are human, we get frustrated, we think we’re right, and many times we just need to admit that we are wrong. Sometimes we hurt one another without even knowing it. That takes forgiveness too. I used to say to DARYL when I would hurt him, “well I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He would say “That doesn’t make it any less painful.” How right he was. We have learned over the years that tenderness is the key to a loving marriage. Lots of hugs, lots of playing, and even crying together, makes the bond strong.

Our faith in God, and our trust in Jesus’ guidance has been the light of our marriage. We are blessed that we share this faith. There were times when I felt too weak to pray and DARYL covered me with whispers to God. The music that he writes and performs lifts my soul every single day. I sing the scripture songs he wrote over and over.

I am blessed beyond words to be married to a kind, gentle and tender man. DARYL is a compliment to my wildness and spontaneity. His solid thinking through things has kept us out of many troubles. But my sense of adventure has led us on many an escapade full of joy.

Thank you all again for the marvelous well wishes for our anniversary. I do think that my last two experiences with cancer have made me appreciate every little moment with DARYL even more. So today, I pray that you will count every moment as precious. I hope you will hug someone and tell them you love them. And by the way, I really love you! Bonnie Lee.

Muddling My Way Through New Adventures!

There are so many new transitions every day, and it’s hard to know where to begin to sort it all in my life. First of all, settling into retirement is one thing that is bringing unexpected pleasure but surprises. I’m discovering that I rather like not having a “to do” list. I like not having to carry my phone with me most of the time. I like reading my emails only when I feel like it.

The dilemma comes from feeling a bit guilty about not being motivated. Then I remember that I’m retired. I don’t have to be motivated to do one single thing. Of course that comes with a situation all its own. Besides retirement being new, we moved across the country to a whole new place. Less than a week ago, the van arrived with our boxes and our things. That has stirred up a whole plethora of work, fun, emotion, and unsettledness.

I like to have things organized and lots of empty space so I’m eager to get settled in. At times, the number of boxes seem overwhelming. Part of the struggle of it all is that I look at the things I brought and I reminisce about the past. Why did I keep this, I ask myself as I pull a scarf out of the box that’s tattered? Or why would I use this tiny little purse with the clip broken on it? I’m a person that does not value things very much. I love people and experiences. Most of you know that I love pretty dishes and pottery of course, but one can only have so much of that. I find myself going through boxes and getting rid of things that I thought I might want.

The things I find myself holding on to are cards that you might’ve sent me; letters that I received, and photos of us doing fun things together. Those are valuable. I have way too many items to hang on the wall. I’m combining two offices to now put into one sacred space which I’m calling my “ZenPen.” Sweet Jenny actually named it for me.

I’m enjoying the little garden that we have in the community plot, and the community pool. But I’m facing some health challenges by being in a boot cast and also having vertigo! My blood levels are off and I have to see a doctor and get things worked out. The beauty of retirement is I can take a nap whenever I want to and believe me I truly have had a few of them already.

This in-between-time, of yearning to be settled, and yet facing so many new things, leaves me a bit discombobulated. Even going to the grocery store is an experience that can be a bit daunting. Not only do I not know anyone, but I don’t know where anything is. DARYL actually is doing most of the grocery shopping which is delightful indeed.

Today, I hung up this beautiful wall hanging that was given to me by a pastor friend who had served as a missionary in China. He gave it to me when I was ordained and said to me “always be a servant Bonnie, now and forever.” I almost didn’t put it up. My days of pastoring are over, but this beautiful scene reminds me that I’m a servant every day. So amid the newness of life here, I want to stay open to whom God will put in my path that I can bless. May I wash the feet of the world, amen.

Retirement: a new path

Well, I am certainly surprised by this new path of retirement. Only today, after almost 2 weeks into it, am I starting to feel like I’m really retired. I have not had one to do list since May 31. The truck finally arrived on Thursday with our items and I have been busy unpacking. As you can see, I got the most important thing set up first, our coffee station. We usually get up very early and have our lattes on the patio facing the pond. It is idyllic, my friends, just idyllic! We are meeting new neighbors daily and getting used to rain showers every afternoon. We have availed ourselves of the pool on the hot afternoons and it is delightful.

Unfortunately, I ended up in urgent care because I was unable to walk on my foot. They put me in a boot cast and I saw the orthopedist three days later. It is amazing how quickly I was seen by both urgent care and at the doctors office. Everybody has been incredibly kind. So I had an injection, am on oral steroids, and I have to be in the boot for a week yet. Plantar fasciitis! 🤪My dear DARYL is waiting on me hand and foot and is a sweetheart. I managed to sit down and unpack a lot of boxes though.

The other part of moving here is a big adjustment. That is trying to find friends who are somewhat in line with our Progressive thinking. We have received a lot of negative comments from people because we’re from California. They have lots of bad things to say about it. I’ve taken this approach. I asked them have you ever lived under the biggest trees in the United States? Do you get to swim across the lake every single day? Do you have neighbors who come and shovel your snow before you’re even out of bed? Do you have a town that has 22 wine boutiques, and friends in every one of them? Do you have a community resource bank that feeds the hungry and programs for those who are homeless? Do you have a church that just loves you to pieces? This is the California I know! I try not to be arrogant about it and I say to people, “California is a very diverse state so please don’t judge me about what you think you know about it.” I think when we get our license plate changed maybe all the comments will stop but for now they keep coming.

My devotional time with God has taken a decided turn. No longer do I read scripture to see how I will preach the lectionary. No longer do I think about worship in terms of who is in the pews and what their needs might be. This all feels very strange to me. When I read my Psalm this morning, it was flat. It was more like a description of what’s going on in our nation now and did nothing to encourage me. So I quickly turned to scripture song that DARYL wrote. “And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your Hearts & Minds through Christ Jesus.” I used to sing this song often to my congregation as a benediction. The other thing that really lifted me and caused me to worship was DARYL playing the organ. We now have his Studio organ installed and it is just magnificent. The 9 foot ceilings of our great room allow the sound to just resonate. I am blessed beyond measure.

I surely do miss all of you, though. I know that it will take time to deepen relationships here. Know that you are dear to me and I love you very much. Will let you know when we’re ready for visitors! Easing into retirement! Bonnie Lee

Joy Abounds!

Life has been so busy and full that I did not take time to blog for the last few days. I’m realizing that I really like not having a “to do” list and tasks that have to be done in a given time.

As you can see from the pictures, I’m fulfilling my dream of having a little garden. At the development where we live there is a community garden and I have plot 15. It’s a late start, but I have tomatoes, three kinds that is, and two kinds of peppers. It was fun, getting my hands dirty and mixing the manure with the soil. (Yes I wore gloves!)

We are still awaiting our items from the moving company, which looks like it might arrive on Wednesday. Life has its own pace now though, and we were able to swim in the community pool yesterday and it was lovely. The people here are incredibly friendly and shopping is a totally different experience than Calaveras County.

Going to the grocery store or to pick up items at the hardware store is an Adventure all in itself. People are laughing, checking in how you’re doing and wanting to tell you about their latest grandchild. No one seems in a hurry.

Yes, as expected, people tell me their stories. Daryl patiently waits as I relish their journey. Daryl says he thinks I have a magnet across my forehead that says “talk to me.” It’s not a coincidence that two men shared with me that they are raising grandchildren. One man told me that he had just retired from 45 years working in the school district and now he has to take care of four young grandchildren. “This is not what I expected as a grandfather,” he said. “I thought that as a granddad, I would be laying sugar on the kids and doing all these marvelous things and sending them home to their parents. Instead, I’ve got a baby, two 3-year-olds and a seven-year-old.”

“It’s hard you know,” he said. “I have to be the parent and take care of all the discipline. And now I have to work again so if we have money to raise these kids.” “Not what I expected,” he said, “but you gotta do it.”

The other man is actually a neighbor from whom we borrowed jumping cables cause our battery in our car was dead. “I’m raising two grandchildren,” he said, “after our daughter died two years ago. This is not what I expected for retirement. We had to move here so we could have a bigger house to take care of these girls. One is seven and one is 16. It’s all good though.” He said, “it’s what God asked us to do.”

As most of you know this resonates deeply with me as Daryl and I raised a child after we had empty nested. I tried to encourage both men by saying what an incredible gift they are giving to their grandchildren and that I will pray for them for strength. It seems to me that God puts people in my path to keep me alert to the joys and the needs in our world. I used to pray through the church directory every morning and decided I would change that up as I retire. Seems like God has a prayer list all her own and so I’m back at it.

As for the home nesting, it’s going slowly. I have one frying pan and a few dishes, but I was able to make dinner last night since the refrigerator arrived. It was shrimp, corn on the cob and salad and we feasted. We still don’t have any chairs or a table so we are managing with two weary lawn chairs that are majorly uncomfortable. It didn’t matter though, as we sat outside and listened to the creatures around the pond.

There are many funny things that have happened. I think that I’m giving DARYL quite a comedy routine these days. Our new washer and dryer arrived and the person who installed them turned them on to make sure they worked. They’ll go for about 20 more minutes he said, and then you’ll know everything is fine and he left. Not long after that I heard some music.

“It’s the ice cream truck,” I yelled to DARYL. “It’s only 9:15 in the morning.” I was so excited. I can eat ice cream at any time. As I ran to the front of the house, he said to me, “Bonnie Lee, that’s the dryer. “ He was right. Our new washer and dryer have a song of their own when they’re finished and it is so delightful. I laughed so hard I had to sit down. All this music makes doing laundry, a blessing.

A barn swallow has set up residence in our door stoop. She is sitting avidly on eggs. Now, those of you who know Daryl, know that he does not like birds flying around in the house, garages or anywhere near him. He likes looking at them from a distance, but that is it. I explained to him that it is a blessing that the swallow has chosen us. She chose us because she feels safe here. We are blessed by her presence in a sacred way. She does make a terrible mess! When I told him how long it will take for the eggs to hatch and then for the young to fly away, he looked at me and shook his head. She is quite beautiful with her blue head and rust colored breast. I think she’s growing on him because I heard him talking to her the other day. I’m going to name her Bella, a feathery welcome to our new place.

I’m finding that every day is a new excursion into the unexpected. It’s all new unfamiliar territory and at the moment, even as we revel in it, we are comforted by the memories that we shared with you sweet people back in California.

Daryl and I feel very rich with the joys of friendships all around the world. As we connect on social media and other ways, please know that we are grateful for you. May your walk into the unexpected today give you laughter and peace. Discovering new joys, Bonnie Lee.

so Many Joys Already!

It’s hard to believe that I’m only on day two of retirement and there are so many joys!

We had a marvelous joy that the settlement of our house went incredibly smoothly. Thanks to our realtor and friend Carrie Shinn, it was just absolutely incredible. As I left the house this morning, though there were tears in saying goodbye. It has been our refuge and the trees have nurtured me immensely. But it is time to call a new place home.

As we wrapped up final details at the post office, the bank and got our RV ready for storage until we return later this month, I found it hard to believe that I didn’t need to check emails, text or meet deadlines.

The reality kind of set in when DARYL and I took a swim in the pool at our hotel. We’re staying overnight in Sacramento for our early flight tomorrow morning. As we relaxed and exercise, we laughed and smiled at each other and said isn’t this marvelous?

I’m discovering though, that there is a whole bucket full of emotions. excitement, trepidation, and wonderment! I said to Daryl, “My motto is to go gently and lovingly into each day.” Those of you who know me well are probably askance at those words. Why she runs on rollerskates most of the time! She’s always doing something! It’s true however, don’t put me into a box. I can change as life changes.

One of the things that will be changing is my name. Yep at 71 years old my name is now going to be Bonnie Lee.

Actually, it’s not a change. When I was very young, I lived with my natural family and I was always called Bonnie Lee. It was kind of a tradition in Virginia and in the south to have a double name. When I went to live with a foster family, they said you are not going to be Bonnie LEE, you are going to be Bonnie. That was part of their intention on removing my identity and trying to create a new one. Guess what! I’m still Bonnie LEE on the inside and I’m gonna claim it now. My brothers and sisters called me Bonnie LEE because that’s how they remembered me.

You might ask why I would do this at this late date in life. It’s because I’m somewhat returning to my roots.By living in the Southeast I will have a flavor of life with which I am familiar.

I’m glad my roots weren’t stuck there. My roots extended far into the world where You all became branches of great delight and offered me shade and welcome and hope. I’m incredibly grateful for all the people that have led me to this day. You all, whether you are church members, friends, or family, fellow singers, and previous coworkers, my life is so enriched because you are in it. I’m particularly blessed that I’ve had fantastic 20 years of ministry. Before that I had jobs that I loved and opened up a plethora of deep relationships that continue to this day.

I’m carrying these marvelous connections into retirement with me. I’m thinking of how so many people stood by me doing my two struggles with cancer, the death of our beloved son Chad, and many other trials along the way.

There have been miracles and healing along with laughter and tears. So as I enter this next part of my journey, I take the treasures of you with me. It is amazing that all over the world I can connect with friends and we can share stories and share love that brightens the world.

So for now, if you will, please call me Bonnie Lee. It’s the name my natural parents called me and even though I barely knew them because of being in foster care almost all of my life, I want to celebrate it now. I invite you to think of your name and the beauty it holds and the identity that you find there. May doors of gratitude open for you.

Spiraling into Joy, Bonnie Lee

Retirement - The Joy Continues

 June 1, 2025 I am retired! Yahoo! I have been waiting for this day for a long time. We had a most wonderful retirement celebration at Open Door UCC (formerly First Congregational UCC) last Sunday. If you get a chance, check it out on the church's website under the Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3yvgPOqT64

It was a love feast and many tears and joys! The church gave Daryl and I some beautiful books of letters they created and also a gorgeous photograph of church members and the church building. The children made a book for us too! We are still reveling in the celebration and love shared there.

So many people are asking me what I plan to do in retirement. My answer is play and spend time with Daryl and family and friends. I plan to "be" rather than "do." A lot of folk already have my life planned out for me - oh you will get involved in volunteer work, you will preach somewhere, you will serve on a board. Hm, I am not even the slightest bit interested in planning my life that way.

I had a funny thing happen this week that illustrates how silly planning and trying to predict life can be. Daryl and I love camping and I am one who loves decorating a beautiful dinner table no matter where we are. However, sometimes the wind does not want to assist my fine design. It whips up the tablecloth and the napkins. I discovered that if I put rocks on the table, it solves the problem. However, it doesn't exactly suit my fancy of having a gorgeous table setting. So one day while camping in Oregon on the coast, I discovered the most beautiful rocks. I gathered a whole bag of them. For years now I have been carrying them around - just in case I camp at a place that doesn't have beautiful rocks.

I forgot all about them until this week when I was cleaning out the RV to get ready to take a cross country trip the latter part of this month. "What the heck is this heavy thing?" I asked Daryl as I held it up. "It's your rocks," he said. "Remember you got them to put on the table." I busted up laughing. "You have got be kidding me," I said. I actually thought there would be a dearth of rocks! You see, my life for many years has been wrapped up in planning, administrating, organizing and implementing. It seems as if even my vacation camping was filled with preparing for God knows what! 

The rocks ended up in the beautiful rock garden in our home in Arnold which was sold to a new owner. They have found a place where they can shine and be noticed, not in a bag in the basement of my RV!

I tell you this because I do not plan to gather rocks for a beautiful table. My table will be filled with memories of you all, with new dawns and God calling my name, saying, Bonnie Lee what shall we do today? Whom shall we love today? I'm excited to discover what God will send my way to help me praise Her more. Of course I must add that sleep and going to the beach are high on the list.

I do not know of life without having to set an alarm, check emails and texts and put a schedule together for worship and preaching. It sounds amazing. I am surely going to have joy in this journey of retirement and love will reign at our table! Dancing my way to Myrtle Beach! Bonnie Lee

P.S. Some of you have asked about the logistics of our move. We fly to Myrtle Beach on June 3 and will be there for several weeks. Once the moving van has arrived and we are settled a bit, we will fly back to California and pick up our RV and truck and drive them across country. 

Dancing in the Rain!  Oh my dear ones, I had great ideas of writing each day on our trip and keep you all abreast of what is going on, but life has been a whirlwind and I was just not able to write. So now I will catch you up to date. It's pouring rain today and so on my lunch break I decided to give this a whirl! 

We bought a house in Loris, South Carolina which is 25 minutes from the Beach. It is a little west of Myrtle Beach in a new development, out in the country and we just love it! We had to make two trips back East to get it all done but we are pleased to have the keys to our new home. Our little Scion is actually parked in the garage! 

That is big news to be sure but I have to tell you that I had the most unusual experiences that have enriched my life. Daryl says I must have a sign on my forehead that say, "Talk to me, I am here for you."

On one of our plane trips, the woman next to me started crying, rather forcibly. "Are you okay?" I asked her. "No I am not," she said. "My father died." "I'm so sad for you," I responded. "Was it sudden?" "No, it's complicated," she answered. She went on to tell me the story. "He lived in California and I live in Virginia and he died two months ago and I didn't know anything about it till last week. My brother lived with him and cleaned out the house and the money and finally told us when we couldn't get an answer from my dad. We didn't talk often because my dad was an alcoholic and it was a broken relationship."

For the next hour and a half she poured her heart out. She kept saying, "I'm so sorry to be crying to you. "It's okay," I assured her. "Tears are healing and you are grieving and I am here for you." We bonded and blessed each other.

My journey is also filled with people, well complete strangers really, who bless me too! While going for an appointment at Stanford recently, just I was about to enter the building a women stopped me. "Wait, she said, "I have something for you!" I looked startled because I did not know her. "Here," she said, "this is for you," and she handed me a stone in the shape of a heart. "I want you to know you are loved!" With that she placed a stone in my hand. "Everyone needs to know they are loved," she proclaimed and then she left and I stood with the amazing gift. I was stunned, amazed and thrilled that an individual would just burst out with love like this. I am so sick of hearing all the angry rhetoric lately and this was like a piece of sweet chocolate after a fast! 

Of course I could not keep this stone to myself, so I passed it on to someone at church, who then passed it on to someone, and it is still going. We are spreading the love!

Now one incident like that can carry me for many days, but I had another one! We flew into the airport in Myrtle Beach and they used golf carts to transport us from the parking lot to the terminal. It was almost midnight and so we had to call someone. Sure enough, very promptly a boisterous man arrived with his cart. He acted as if we were VIPS's. "I got the bag," he said, "no lifting for you," he told Daryl and me. We engaged in delightful conversation and he put our bags in the back of our car. 

"Oh wait," he said as I handed him a tip. "I have something for YOU. He pulled out a little figurine of Jesus. "Here," he said, "this will bless you!" It was the cutest little thing - about an inch in size and fit in  the palm of my hand. "This is great," I said, "I'm a pastor and I will share it with my children at church." "Here you go, have some more and he gave me three more." Daryl and I got in our car and I just burst out laughing! "I got a miniature Jesus in my hand." I said. "I guess I can carry him with me wherever I go. A good reminder of the love of God and others!" The ironic thing is that since we got home and have been getting our house ready to sell, I have misplaced them. My Jesus is lost! Not really, because he is so alive in my heart and apparent in the many people I meet everywhere I go!

So I've decided to find love everywhere I can. I don't want to seem indifferent to the sorrows many are facing and the political dilemma in which we find ourselves and yes I am writing to my senators and representatives who seem to have no backbone at all, but really love is the key.

We change the world with our love, our caring hearts, our joyful gratitude for the earth and its people. This morning I was not grateful for our country's leadership so Jesus and me had a chat. Still not grateful, but I did pray that our leaders will not sleep a wink until they do the right thing by the immigrants and much more! Okay, I know that sounds vindictive but that's where I am. I know - maybe when I find my Jesus, I'll send one to them or a heart of love!  I have to do something and I think it's a better option than being mean or afraid.

There are two mottos I have in life - you already know the one - "Joy in the Journey" but the other one is "I choose to live in Faith, not fear." Matthew 6:24-34 is my mantra and Daryl has written a song with them so I sing it alot. 

Perhaps you are not able to have faith and that is okay. I love you and will wrap you in my prayers and heart. As I continue to do my chemo maintenance and see the doctors at Stanford, I am grateful for your loving support that holds me up when I am weary. Everything seems to be good at the moment and I feel great! It's a good thing too because I am madly packing! 

Ministry with my parish continues to be a delight and we are growing even as I prepare to leave. Our folk are so amazing and incredibly full of compassion so it's a beautiful thing to experience this in my last two months with them. 

May your day be full of blessing and hope. YOU ARE LOVED! Pastor Bonnie

Thursday March 6 Searching for our new home

 We had a good time with our daughter and son in Fayetteville NC and helped Jordan get settled in his new apartment. Now we are in Myrtle Beach and ready to do some house hunting. Many of you have been asking if we have a house so let me explain our process a bit.

We will actually not buy a house on this trip. We are planning to build a new home so we are looking at models and sites. We will sell our home in California first before we purchase a home here. It will take about three months to build a house here.

No worries, we won’t be without a place to live! We have our RV and I love my rolling home! I have such fun nesting in there! Plus once we are ready to move we are going to drive it across the country! It is going to be fantastic! 

So back to the house buying plan. We will hopefully get our home on the market in early April. Once we have a signed contract on our home, the builder will let us purchase a home in Myrtle Beach. Does it sound a little up in the air? Absolutely but that’s just part of the adventure! My mantra of one minute at a time still serves me well. God is gracious and calms my spirit and Daryl and I pray for wisdom everyday. 

In the meantime we plan to head to the beach today! We drove through horrendous rain storms yesterday but it is glorious today! (By the way, the fires are no longer a threat and not near where we are going to live.)

We still have much to do with our sweet parish when we return! Our little church continues to grow, we are going to be receiving our confirmands on Easter, and Lent is here. We are so blessed to be in ministry with such wonderful, loving people!

I have purposely not watched the news as my brain, my soul and my body need a break from it. I do continue to pray fervently for those who are harmed by the recent actions of the leadership. One of our own people in the parish has lost his job because of the federal firings(or whatever you call them.) how tragic. 

The only way I can deal with all this is to live by faith and not by fear. I’m still sending emails to my representatives but the replies I get are of little comfort. 

Today, my dear ones, know I love you and hold you in my heart! Joy in the journey! (Thanks to our daughter, this is a view from our hotel room!)

We went to Corky’s! February 28 Friday

Vacation is great fun, especially when you can eat a variety of foods. See that picture above?That was our dinner at Corky‘s. DARYL found this restaurant and it was listed as one of the top eight barbecue places to eat in Memphis Tennessee. It did not disappoint. Its Elvis theme was fun and the atmosphere was rather like a party. 

As you can see, we had a slab of ribs part of it dry and part of it wet. (I had to ask what that meant!) then it came with pulled pork, brisket, pulled chicken, Cole slaw and baked beans. They topped it off with fantastic homemade rolls. Oh my it was divine. Now Daryl and I, knowing we were going to be doing a lot of sitting in the car the next day, ate in moderation. We packed over half of it to take for the next day.

So feeling quite comfortable we were ready to pay our bill when the waiter said, “Now y’all not from here, and you just gotta have some of the best banana pudding in all of Tennessee. Why that just is the perfect ending to a good rib meal!” He began to describe it and I suddenly had flashbacks of my childhood in the south and that homemade pudding. “ We make it right here,” he said. Daryl and I looked at each other and said okay we gotta do it.

Oh my, I am still dreaming of that banana pudding today! Vanilla wafers, rich divine banana pudding, “just right” ripe bananas and real whip cream on the top! It was heavenly, but by now we weren’t sure we could pull ourselves out of the chairs. 

We waddled our way back to the hotel with our leftover goodie bag. I wish I could tell you we slept deeply and long, but alas the food kept speaking to us. It was a bit of a trial and tums and sprite quickly became our friends! So no we did NOT eat the leftovers for lunch. We ate mildly all day and very little. However,was it worth it? Absolutely! I would do it all over tomorrow night if I were in Memphis but alas we are headed to Fayetteville NC tomorrow and I’m sure biscuit gravy and grits will be waiting! Happy eating!

A hilarious day, February 28

 OK, my dear friends you certainly are all welcome to correct me when I am wrong. DARYL and I realized this morning about halfway through our trip to Tennessee that Ash Wednesday is next week. We fairly danced at the rest stop when we realized it. Just think, we can eat donuts every day now through Mardi Gras till next week! Although we haven’t had a single one yet! I think we were just so confused by day after day of driving that we didn’t know what week it was. Of course, that means we’re having a grand time and aren’t really thinking about regular activities. So we had Ash Wednesday a week early. What will we do next week? I’m not sure. Stay tuned. Maybe we needed a time of repentance early! 😂

But that isn’t all that happened to make today funny. First of all, we drove through Oklahoma and Arkansas and then to Tennessee. A lot of the landscape look like Pennsylvania and yet we did not see many very large farms. In Oklahoma, they were dried up lakes, and in Arkansas there was flooding. We did however get to see the Ozark mountains. I have never been in the Ozark mountains, so that was a gem of a trip. No time to hike them and actually they’re only about 2500 feet in elevation. Seems tiny compared to Big Bear but I still loved it. 

The funny story developed as we pulled into our hotel. I went in to get us registered, and DARYL was unloading the car. The young lady checked me in and said to me, “ Is he with you?” motioning to the man behind me. I did not look around, but said , “yes that’s my husband.”  She said, “Oh great, then would you like an upgrade to an executive suite rather than two beds?” I turned around to ask DARYL what he thought and realized that the man standing there was not my husband. The man started laughing. He said “Yeah when you told her I was with you, I wasn’t sure about that but I went along with it.” “Oh my goodness,” I said “I am so sorry.” We all laughed and I said “I got a new husband at the Fairfield hotel!” About that time DARYL came in and I said “DARYL, meet my new husband.” He looked a tad confused until I explained to him what had happened and he just shook his head. 

The adventure continued when we came back as he was in the same elevator as us. We got off on the same floor and you will not believe this, but his room is directly across from ours. “Oh no,” I said “there could be trouble.”  He just busted up laughing! 

Oh the predicaments I get myself in. That’ll teach me to not turn around and look who’s behind me. But it sure made for a good laugh after a long day and a lot of fun with complete strangers. But all in all I’m sticking with my sweet husband, DARYL. He puts up with me and all my shenanigans and loves me deeply!  Just one of the many adventures we have together! May you all laugh some today! 

Thursday February 27 A Dilemma and a Blessing

Today’s drive through Texas and Oklahoma was drab. I just couldn’t settle in with the miles and miles of dirt and flat land. Brown trees and darkness everywhere, except the sky of course, which was a magnificent blue the whole day. We did get to see some red hills but I missed taking pictures because I was so focused on finding out what their compositions. I’m told the Native Americans called them Medicine Hills because of their high concentration of epsom salts. But that was about as interesting as it got.

So my dilemma, how does one love God’s beautiful earth and yet find it, well a little sad? You know me, I’m used to living among the tall green pines, redwoods and cedars with their elegant branches, cuddling my days. I cherish the terrain changes as I drive from Arnold to Murphys each day. Turkeys, foxes, coyotes, deer and bear sneak around to my great delight. So I felt a little discombobulated by this flat land. I said to Daryl, “It would be rude to tell someone they live in a boring place, wouldn’t it?” “ Well yes,” he agreed “and it’s God’s good earth.” I like to be so positive but really I’m at a loss here. It reminds me of a saying I had in my locker when I was in high school. “Kindness and truth go hand in hand, but where the two diverge and collide, kindness should override truth.” This is one of those times!

Daryl said it reminded him of Lent- barren, stark, and open for us to see ourselves more clearly. Lent, a time of introspection and contemplation. I like that. It helped me see the land as inviting a new depth to my searching. As we reflected on Lent we realized that this was the first time in our married lives that we had missed attending an Ash Wednesday service. “From dust you came, to dust you shall return.” Well, I saw plenty of dust today and let me tell you, I prefer to be alive today! Thank you Jesus! I much prefer the “child of God” sign that Daryl makes on my forehead! 

As always though, it’s the people who make life a joy! When we stopped at one of the gas stations for a break and were doing our usual stretches, a young woman approached Daryl. “I see you are from California too. We are just leaving Orange County to move to Wilmington North Carolina,” she volunteered. “Unbelievable,” Daryl said. “We are moving to South Carolina!” They chatted a bit and she explained that it was just too expensive to live in California and they have family in the east. We had fun talking with them. They were adventurous! A young mom and dad with a teen son and a baby. They were going to drive it in three days! We felt bonded, travelers on the road together! 

This reminded me that our world is full of beautiful people. I know the state of our political situation is a mess right now, but everywhere we go we keep receiving loving kindness from just about everyone! Smiles abound, stories are shared, doors are opened, bathrooms are clean, the coffee is great (well most of the time) and we are bonded by a common will to live happily! A nation of kindness exists even when it doesn’t make the news! Let’s claim the goodness! 

We made it through our longest driving days and so just might get to linger in bed a wee bit longer! May your day be filled with kindness! Love to you all! 

A long drive

 Today was rather exhausting as we had a 10 Hour drive to Albuquerque. It was quite beautiful as we saw the Mesas and the rock formations, but after a while, following tractor trailer trucks and seeing the same thing does get a little boring. I am not easily bored, and the shifting of drivers was helpful for DARYL and me. So while there were not very many adventures outside the car, we certainly had our time together in our little Scion. We reminisced about our dating days and our early years of marriage when we  worship workshops. What fun we had! It is good to take time to remember these marvelous things.

When you’ve been married for as long as we have, it is still a joy to chat about things. As we were awestruck at the long trains along the way, DARYL and I thought of the song “Same Train”  that the chorus will be singing and we belted it out together. We also said Bible verses in the morning for our devotional time. I love singing the Scripture songs that DARYL has written. That helps keep them on my heart. 

The song that especially spoke to me today was this, “therefore, I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink. Is not your life more than food and your body more than clothing, do not worry about your life, do not fear.”

This song helped me through many days during my dealings with cancer and still does. It is easy to become frightful in these challenging times. But I know that God is with us and will walk with us through every trial. Sometimes when I’m sick in the morning from the chemo pills, I remember to thank God that I’m cancer free at the moment. Gratitude and trust enable us to continue to have joy. 

So even though I do not have much to report about the scenery or the ride, I will share that the blessings abound on our trip. May you have peace in your path today, love Bonnie.

Port a potty

I wish I had more words that dance and tantalize and rip your imagination into unspeakable joy. But all I have are stories, simple and true, embellished with my own little twists. It feels inadequate to tell so great happenings in letters and punctuation. Oh how I love exclamation points! The sheer delight never really makes it to the paper. It dangles in my mind long after the typing is done. 

I know that you will add your own flavor and spice to what you read and hopefully the message you receive will create a spark of something novel, a door waiting to be opened, a seed ready to be planted, a new gift to share. Go for it! Be inspired and live with exclamation points! 

I wish I had the vocabularies of Maya Angelou, Anne Lamott, Sanders Lamont or Jordan Hollinger. Their words tickle my brain and constantly have me asking for more. 

I write because you have asked me to share the adventures , so here we go! 

Daryl has a practice that I try to emulate. When he sees people he whispers in his soul, his heart or under his breath “child of God.” In this way, it helps him frame that person as precious. We practiced it at breakfast when the young man did an entire business transaction, very loudly on his phone, while I was trying to eat my delicious homemade waffle. Daryl whispers” child of God,” and I smile. “He’s eeking out a living, I guess.” Hope it goes well and we are blessed. 

If you know anything about the drive from Fresno to Needles you know that it is a world of contrasts. One minute you are among the lush fields of fruit trees where migrant workers are tending to irrigation lines, trimming and pesticides, while the bees are doing their job to ensure those delicious fruits arrive in our grocery carts; and the next minute red and black mountains with granite statues poke out like aliens in a foreign land.

 

Miles and miles with almost no vegetation except for the occasional Joshua tree make me feel as if I’ve landed on another planet. Magnificent, and it’s hard to comprehend the vastness of it. Our little 2012 Scion XB with over 213000 miles on it purred along beautifully. 

It’s grand to be sure, but at my age and a cup of coffee and eight ounces of water later, a bathroom is a must. Now I’m probably not telling you anything new, but California is woefully lacking in rest areas with bathrooms. As a matter of fact there are two on the 100 mile stretch of our road but both were closed. One was blocked off with cones and tapes. The second one was nonexistent. A sign said “under construction” but the only thing there was flattened black dirt with a small deserted tractor in the middle of it. I imagine the contractor said, I’m done with this and took off sixty miles down the road to sip a nice cold beer at the only pub in town. 

So we began to look for a tree, well a sage bush actually, anything that would provide an itty bitty amount of privacy. Suddenly,  I said to Daryl, “look there’s a visitor center sign” and quickly across three lanes of traffic, I headed to Boron. 

“We are in luck,” I said, “a visitor center.”  It looked desolate but we followed the signs to the visitor center which led us to the boron plant, yes, that’s right, the place where borax is produced. Not sure how interested we were in learning about borax, but our bladders kept us going. Suddenly, almost at the gate, the sign says “visitor center closed.” Okay so now the bushes are looking pretty inviting. We turn around and head back to the highway scanning for a BIG bush. The WEE gods have delivered I yell! 

Out of nowhere we suddenly came upon a port a potty by the side of the road. “Okay Daryl,”  I say, “unless it has a snake in it, I’m using it.” You are not going to believe this, it was clean, had toilet paper and didn't even stink! Outside was a stand with water, hand soap that smelled like citrus, and paper towels! How in heaven’s name did it get here? I don’t know but it saved me! Miracle, I say, an absolute miracle! 

It’s thrilling to travel when the little things become joys. 

Did you know you can now order a McDonald’s hamburger well done? I kid you not! I’m not sure what it will be when it is cooked to oblivion but friends you have a choice! I did not press that button on the kiosk and my burger still came out a little thicker than a piece of paper, but not much! 

Our stop for lunch at McDonald’s reminding us again of my sermon on Sunday about forgiveness. Sitting near to us was a family of five, twin boys around four years old, a mother breast feeding an infant and a very young looking father trying to reign in those boys. Of course they were not going to sit in chairs, they were going to use them like wild horses and the stroller like some sort of galactic carriage with it screeching and flying into the table. Daryl and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised. “Children of God,” Daryl says and we both start laughing. I began to pray for those parents and at the energy bursting in those little bodies. God help them in their car ride I prayed. They are going to need it. Our smiles and body posture can show welcome and acceptance. It’s a good practice! 

Old Route 66 did not disappoint and we found ourselves in a charming Best Western with incredible evening views. “You will want to eat at the Wagon Wheel,” the concierge said. “It’s like a Cracker Barrel only local and better.” It did not disappoint. Sitting among wagon wheel lights, guns, cigarettes and beer ads;  we devoured our home cooked meals and listened to the light laughter around us. The waitress occasionally hugged the clients and we left feeling like we were back in the 70’s.

 

Much to our surprise and the 80 degree temperature we discovered a glorious pool and hot tub at this little cheap hotel that was immaculate and divine. We had it to ourselves and it was the perfect ending to a grand day. 

Yes the driving is long but oh how glorious are the joys of my travels! Luv to you all with flip flops on my feet  and my white hair blowing in the wind!