Muddling My Way Through New Adventures!

There are so many new transitions every day, and it’s hard to know where to begin to sort it all in my life. First of all, settling into retirement is one thing that is bringing unexpected pleasure but surprises. I’m discovering that I rather like not having a “to do” list. I like not having to carry my phone with me most of the time. I like reading my emails only when I feel like it.

The dilemma comes from feeling a bit guilty about not being motivated. Then I remember that I’m retired. I don’t have to be motivated to do one single thing. Of course that comes with a situation all its own. Besides retirement being new, we moved across the country to a whole new place. Less than a week ago, the van arrived with our boxes and our things. That has stirred up a whole plethora of work, fun, emotion, and unsettledness.

I like to have things organized and lots of empty space so I’m eager to get settled in. At times, the number of boxes seem overwhelming. Part of the struggle of it all is that I look at the things I brought and I reminisce about the past. Why did I keep this, I ask myself as I pull a scarf out of the box that’s tattered? Or why would I use this tiny little purse with the clip broken on it? I’m a person that does not value things very much. I love people and experiences. Most of you know that I love pretty dishes and pottery of course, but one can only have so much of that. I find myself going through boxes and getting rid of things that I thought I might want.

The things I find myself holding on to are cards that you might’ve sent me; letters that I received, and photos of us doing fun things together. Those are valuable. I have way too many items to hang on the wall. I’m combining two offices to now put into one sacred space which I’m calling my “ZenPen.” Sweet Jenny actually named it for me.

I’m enjoying the little garden that we have in the community plot, and the community pool. But I’m facing some health challenges by being in a boot cast and also having vertigo! My blood levels are off and I have to see a doctor and get things worked out. The beauty of retirement is I can take a nap whenever I want to and believe me I truly have had a few of them already.

This in-between-time, of yearning to be settled, and yet facing so many new things, leaves me a bit discombobulated. Even going to the grocery store is an experience that can be a bit daunting. Not only do I not know anyone, but I don’t know where anything is. DARYL actually is doing most of the grocery shopping which is delightful indeed.

Today, I hung up this beautiful wall hanging that was given to me by a pastor friend who had served as a missionary in China. He gave it to me when I was ordained and said to me “always be a servant Bonnie, now and forever.” I almost didn’t put it up. My days of pastoring are over, but this beautiful scene reminds me that I’m a servant every day. So amid the newness of life here, I want to stay open to whom God will put in my path that I can bless. May I wash the feet of the world, amen.