Muddling My Way Through New Adventures!

There are so many new transitions every day, and it’s hard to know where to begin to sort it all in my life. First of all, settling into retirement is one thing that is bringing unexpected pleasure but surprises. I’m discovering that I rather like not having a “to do” list. I like not having to carry my phone with me most of the time. I like reading my emails only when I feel like it.

The dilemma comes from feeling a bit guilty about not being motivated. Then I remember that I’m retired. I don’t have to be motivated to do one single thing. Of course that comes with a situation all its own. Besides retirement being new, we moved across the country to a whole new place. Less than a week ago, the van arrived with our boxes and our things. That has stirred up a whole plethora of work, fun, emotion, and unsettledness.

I like to have things organized and lots of empty space so I’m eager to get settled in. At times, the number of boxes seem overwhelming. Part of the struggle of it all is that I look at the things I brought and I reminisce about the past. Why did I keep this, I ask myself as I pull a scarf out of the box that’s tattered? Or why would I use this tiny little purse with the clip broken on it? I’m a person that does not value things very much. I love people and experiences. Most of you know that I love pretty dishes and pottery of course, but one can only have so much of that. I find myself going through boxes and getting rid of things that I thought I might want.

The things I find myself holding on to are cards that you might’ve sent me; letters that I received, and photos of us doing fun things together. Those are valuable. I have way too many items to hang on the wall. I’m combining two offices to now put into one sacred space which I’m calling my “ZenPen.” Sweet Jenny actually named it for me.

I’m enjoying the little garden that we have in the community plot, and the community pool. But I’m facing some health challenges by being in a boot cast and also having vertigo! My blood levels are off and I have to see a doctor and get things worked out. The beauty of retirement is I can take a nap whenever I want to and believe me I truly have had a few of them already.

This in-between-time, of yearning to be settled, and yet facing so many new things, leaves me a bit discombobulated. Even going to the grocery store is an experience that can be a bit daunting. Not only do I not know anyone, but I don’t know where anything is. DARYL actually is doing most of the grocery shopping which is delightful indeed.

Today, I hung up this beautiful wall hanging that was given to me by a pastor friend who had served as a missionary in China. He gave it to me when I was ordained and said to me “always be a servant Bonnie, now and forever.” I almost didn’t put it up. My days of pastoring are over, but this beautiful scene reminds me that I’m a servant every day. So amid the newness of life here, I want to stay open to whom God will put in my path that I can bless. May I wash the feet of the world, amen.

Retirement: a new path

Well, I am certainly surprised by this new path of retirement. Only today, after almost 2 weeks into it, am I starting to feel like I’m really retired. I have not had one to do list since May 31. The truck finally arrived on Thursday with our items and I have been busy unpacking. As you can see, I got the most important thing set up first, our coffee station. We usually get up very early and have our lattes on the patio facing the pond. It is idyllic, my friends, just idyllic! We are meeting new neighbors daily and getting used to rain showers every afternoon. We have availed ourselves of the pool on the hot afternoons and it is delightful.

Unfortunately, I ended up in urgent care because I was unable to walk on my foot. They put me in a boot cast and I saw the orthopedist three days later. It is amazing how quickly I was seen by both urgent care and at the doctors office. Everybody has been incredibly kind. So I had an injection, am on oral steroids, and I have to be in the boot for a week yet. Plantar fasciitis! 🤪My dear DARYL is waiting on me hand and foot and is a sweetheart. I managed to sit down and unpack a lot of boxes though.

The other part of moving here is a big adjustment. That is trying to find friends who are somewhat in line with our Progressive thinking. We have received a lot of negative comments from people because we’re from California. They have lots of bad things to say about it. I’ve taken this approach. I asked them have you ever lived under the biggest trees in the United States? Do you get to swim across the lake every single day? Do you have neighbors who come and shovel your snow before you’re even out of bed? Do you have a town that has 22 wine boutiques, and friends in every one of them? Do you have a community resource bank that feeds the hungry and programs for those who are homeless? Do you have a church that just loves you to pieces? This is the California I know! I try not to be arrogant about it and I say to people, “California is a very diverse state so please don’t judge me about what you think you know about it.” I think when we get our license plate changed maybe all the comments will stop but for now they keep coming.

My devotional time with God has taken a decided turn. No longer do I read scripture to see how I will preach the lectionary. No longer do I think about worship in terms of who is in the pews and what their needs might be. This all feels very strange to me. When I read my Psalm this morning, it was flat. It was more like a description of what’s going on in our nation now and did nothing to encourage me. So I quickly turned to scripture song that DARYL wrote. “And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your Hearts & Minds through Christ Jesus.” I used to sing this song often to my congregation as a benediction. The other thing that really lifted me and caused me to worship was DARYL playing the organ. We now have his Studio organ installed and it is just magnificent. The 9 foot ceilings of our great room allow the sound to just resonate. I am blessed beyond measure.

I surely do miss all of you, though. I know that it will take time to deepen relationships here. Know that you are dear to me and I love you very much. Will let you know when we’re ready for visitors! Easing into retirement! Bonnie Lee

Joy Abounds!

Life has been so busy and full that I did not take time to blog for the last few days. I’m realizing that I really like not having a “to do” list and tasks that have to be done in a given time.

As you can see from the pictures, I’m fulfilling my dream of having a little garden. At the development where we live there is a community garden and I have plot 15. It’s a late start, but I have tomatoes, three kinds that is, and two kinds of peppers. It was fun, getting my hands dirty and mixing the manure with the soil. (Yes I wore gloves!)

We are still awaiting our items from the moving company, which looks like it might arrive on Wednesday. Life has its own pace now though, and we were able to swim in the community pool yesterday and it was lovely. The people here are incredibly friendly and shopping is a totally different experience than Calaveras County.

Going to the grocery store or to pick up items at the hardware store is an Adventure all in itself. People are laughing, checking in how you’re doing and wanting to tell you about their latest grandchild. No one seems in a hurry.

Yes, as expected, people tell me their stories. Daryl patiently waits as I relish their journey. Daryl says he thinks I have a magnet across my forehead that says “talk to me.” It’s not a coincidence that two men shared with me that they are raising grandchildren. One man told me that he had just retired from 45 years working in the school district and now he has to take care of four young grandchildren. “This is not what I expected as a grandfather,” he said. “I thought that as a granddad, I would be laying sugar on the kids and doing all these marvelous things and sending them home to their parents. Instead, I’ve got a baby, two 3-year-olds and a seven-year-old.”

“It’s hard you know,” he said. “I have to be the parent and take care of all the discipline. And now I have to work again so if we have money to raise these kids.” “Not what I expected,” he said, “but you gotta do it.”

The other man is actually a neighbor from whom we borrowed jumping cables cause our battery in our car was dead. “I’m raising two grandchildren,” he said, “after our daughter died two years ago. This is not what I expected for retirement. We had to move here so we could have a bigger house to take care of these girls. One is seven and one is 16. It’s all good though.” He said, “it’s what God asked us to do.”

As most of you know this resonates deeply with me as Daryl and I raised a child after we had empty nested. I tried to encourage both men by saying what an incredible gift they are giving to their grandchildren and that I will pray for them for strength. It seems to me that God puts people in my path to keep me alert to the joys and the needs in our world. I used to pray through the church directory every morning and decided I would change that up as I retire. Seems like God has a prayer list all her own and so I’m back at it.

As for the home nesting, it’s going slowly. I have one frying pan and a few dishes, but I was able to make dinner last night since the refrigerator arrived. It was shrimp, corn on the cob and salad and we feasted. We still don’t have any chairs or a table so we are managing with two weary lawn chairs that are majorly uncomfortable. It didn’t matter though, as we sat outside and listened to the creatures around the pond.

There are many funny things that have happened. I think that I’m giving DARYL quite a comedy routine these days. Our new washer and dryer arrived and the person who installed them turned them on to make sure they worked. They’ll go for about 20 more minutes he said, and then you’ll know everything is fine and he left. Not long after that I heard some music.

“It’s the ice cream truck,” I yelled to DARYL. “It’s only 9:15 in the morning.” I was so excited. I can eat ice cream at any time. As I ran to the front of the house, he said to me, “Bonnie Lee, that’s the dryer. “ He was right. Our new washer and dryer have a song of their own when they’re finished and it is so delightful. I laughed so hard I had to sit down. All this music makes doing laundry, a blessing.

A barn swallow has set up residence in our door stoop. She is sitting avidly on eggs. Now, those of you who know Daryl, know that he does not like birds flying around in the house, garages or anywhere near him. He likes looking at them from a distance, but that is it. I explained to him that it is a blessing that the swallow has chosen us. She chose us because she feels safe here. We are blessed by her presence in a sacred way. She does make a terrible mess! When I told him how long it will take for the eggs to hatch and then for the young to fly away, he looked at me and shook his head. She is quite beautiful with her blue head and rust colored breast. I think she’s growing on him because I heard him talking to her the other day. I’m going to name her Bella, a feathery welcome to our new place.

I’m finding that every day is a new excursion into the unexpected. It’s all new unfamiliar territory and at the moment, even as we revel in it, we are comforted by the memories that we shared with you sweet people back in California.

Daryl and I feel very rich with the joys of friendships all around the world. As we connect on social media and other ways, please know that we are grateful for you. May your walk into the unexpected today give you laughter and peace. Discovering new joys, Bonnie Lee.

so Many Joys Already!

It’s hard to believe that I’m only on day two of retirement and there are so many joys!

We had a marvelous joy that the settlement of our house went incredibly smoothly. Thanks to our realtor and friend Carrie Shinn, it was just absolutely incredible. As I left the house this morning, though there were tears in saying goodbye. It has been our refuge and the trees have nurtured me immensely. But it is time to call a new place home.

As we wrapped up final details at the post office, the bank and got our RV ready for storage until we return later this month, I found it hard to believe that I didn’t need to check emails, text or meet deadlines.

The reality kind of set in when DARYL and I took a swim in the pool at our hotel. We’re staying overnight in Sacramento for our early flight tomorrow morning. As we relaxed and exercise, we laughed and smiled at each other and said isn’t this marvelous?

I’m discovering though, that there is a whole bucket full of emotions. excitement, trepidation, and wonderment! I said to Daryl, “My motto is to go gently and lovingly into each day.” Those of you who know me well are probably askance at those words. Why she runs on rollerskates most of the time! She’s always doing something! It’s true however, don’t put me into a box. I can change as life changes.

One of the things that will be changing is my name. Yep at 71 years old my name is now going to be Bonnie Lee.

Actually, it’s not a change. When I was very young, I lived with my natural family and I was always called Bonnie Lee. It was kind of a tradition in Virginia and in the south to have a double name. When I went to live with a foster family, they said you are not going to be Bonnie LEE, you are going to be Bonnie. That was part of their intention on removing my identity and trying to create a new one. Guess what! I’m still Bonnie LEE on the inside and I’m gonna claim it now. My brothers and sisters called me Bonnie LEE because that’s how they remembered me.

You might ask why I would do this at this late date in life. It’s because I’m somewhat returning to my roots.By living in the Southeast I will have a flavor of life with which I am familiar.

I’m glad my roots weren’t stuck there. My roots extended far into the world where You all became branches of great delight and offered me shade and welcome and hope. I’m incredibly grateful for all the people that have led me to this day. You all, whether you are church members, friends, or family, fellow singers, and previous coworkers, my life is so enriched because you are in it. I’m particularly blessed that I’ve had fantastic 20 years of ministry. Before that I had jobs that I loved and opened up a plethora of deep relationships that continue to this day.

I’m carrying these marvelous connections into retirement with me. I’m thinking of how so many people stood by me doing my two struggles with cancer, the death of our beloved son Chad, and many other trials along the way.

There have been miracles and healing along with laughter and tears. So as I enter this next part of my journey, I take the treasures of you with me. It is amazing that all over the world I can connect with friends and we can share stories and share love that brightens the world.

So for now, if you will, please call me Bonnie Lee. It’s the name my natural parents called me and even though I barely knew them because of being in foster care almost all of my life, I want to celebrate it now. I invite you to think of your name and the beauty it holds and the identity that you find there. May doors of gratitude open for you.

Spiraling into Joy, Bonnie Lee