A long drive

 Today was rather exhausting as we had a 10 Hour drive to Albuquerque. It was quite beautiful as we saw the Mesas and the rock formations, but after a while, following tractor trailer trucks and seeing the same thing does get a little boring. I am not easily bored, and the shifting of drivers was helpful for DARYL and me. So while there were not very many adventures outside the car, we certainly had our time together in our little Scion. We reminisced about our dating days and our early years of marriage when we  worship workshops. What fun we had! It is good to take time to remember these marvelous things.

When you’ve been married for as long as we have, it is still a joy to chat about things. As we were awestruck at the long trains along the way, DARYL and I thought of the song “Same Train”  that the chorus will be singing and we belted it out together. We also said Bible verses in the morning for our devotional time. I love singing the Scripture songs that DARYL has written. That helps keep them on my heart. 

The song that especially spoke to me today was this, “therefore, I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink. Is not your life more than food and your body more than clothing, do not worry about your life, do not fear.”

This song helped me through many days during my dealings with cancer and still does. It is easy to become frightful in these challenging times. But I know that God is with us and will walk with us through every trial. Sometimes when I’m sick in the morning from the chemo pills, I remember to thank God that I’m cancer free at the moment. Gratitude and trust enable us to continue to have joy. 

So even though I do not have much to report about the scenery or the ride, I will share that the blessings abound on our trip. May you have peace in your path today, love Bonnie.

Port a potty

I wish I had more words that dance and tantalize and rip your imagination into unspeakable joy. But all I have are stories, simple and true, embellished with my own little twists. It feels inadequate to tell so great happenings in letters and punctuation. Oh how I love exclamation points! The sheer delight never really makes it to the paper. It dangles in my mind long after the typing is done. 

I know that you will add your own flavor and spice to what you read and hopefully the message you receive will create a spark of something novel, a door waiting to be opened, a seed ready to be planted, a new gift to share. Go for it! Be inspired and live with exclamation points! 

I wish I had the vocabularies of Maya Angelou, Anne Lamott, Sanders Lamont or Jordan Hollinger. Their words tickle my brain and constantly have me asking for more. 

I write because you have asked me to share the adventures , so here we go! 

Daryl has a practice that I try to emulate. When he sees people he whispers in his soul, his heart or under his breath “child of God.” In this way, it helps him frame that person as precious. We practiced it at breakfast when the young man did an entire business transaction, very loudly on his phone, while I was trying to eat my delicious homemade waffle. Daryl whispers” child of God,” and I smile. “He’s eeking out a living, I guess.” Hope it goes well and we are blessed. 

If you know anything about the drive from Fresno to Needles you know that it is a world of contrasts. One minute you are among the lush fields of fruit trees where migrant workers are tending to irrigation lines, trimming and pesticides, while the bees are doing their job to ensure those delicious fruits arrive in our grocery carts; and the next minute red and black mountains with granite statues poke out like aliens in a foreign land.

 

Miles and miles with almost no vegetation except for the occasional Joshua tree make me feel as if I’ve landed on another planet. Magnificent, and it’s hard to comprehend the vastness of it. Our little 2012 Scion XB with over 213000 miles on it purred along beautifully. 

It’s grand to be sure, but at my age and a cup of coffee and eight ounces of water later, a bathroom is a must. Now I’m probably not telling you anything new, but California is woefully lacking in rest areas with bathrooms. As a matter of fact there are two on the 100 mile stretch of our road but both were closed. One was blocked off with cones and tapes. The second one was nonexistent. A sign said “under construction” but the only thing there was flattened black dirt with a small deserted tractor in the middle of it. I imagine the contractor said, I’m done with this and took off sixty miles down the road to sip a nice cold beer at the only pub in town. 

So we began to look for a tree, well a sage bush actually, anything that would provide an itty bitty amount of privacy. Suddenly,  I said to Daryl, “look there’s a visitor center sign” and quickly across three lanes of traffic, I headed to Boron. 

“We are in luck,” I said, “a visitor center.”  It looked desolate but we followed the signs to the visitor center which led us to the boron plant, yes, that’s right, the place where borax is produced. Not sure how interested we were in learning about borax, but our bladders kept us going. Suddenly, almost at the gate, the sign says “visitor center closed.” Okay so now the bushes are looking pretty inviting. We turn around and head back to the highway scanning for a BIG bush. The WEE gods have delivered I yell! 

Out of nowhere we suddenly came upon a port a potty by the side of the road. “Okay Daryl,”  I say, “unless it has a snake in it, I’m using it.” You are not going to believe this, it was clean, had toilet paper and didn't even stink! Outside was a stand with water, hand soap that smelled like citrus, and paper towels! How in heaven’s name did it get here? I don’t know but it saved me! Miracle, I say, an absolute miracle! 

It’s thrilling to travel when the little things become joys. 

Did you know you can now order a McDonald’s hamburger well done? I kid you not! I’m not sure what it will be when it is cooked to oblivion but friends you have a choice! I did not press that button on the kiosk and my burger still came out a little thicker than a piece of paper, but not much! 

Our stop for lunch at McDonald’s reminding us again of my sermon on Sunday about forgiveness. Sitting near to us was a family of five, twin boys around four years old, a mother breast feeding an infant and a very young looking father trying to reign in those boys. Of course they were not going to sit in chairs, they were going to use them like wild horses and the stroller like some sort of galactic carriage with it screeching and flying into the table. Daryl and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised. “Children of God,” Daryl says and we both start laughing. I began to pray for those parents and at the energy bursting in those little bodies. God help them in their car ride I prayed. They are going to need it. Our smiles and body posture can show welcome and acceptance. It’s a good practice! 

Old Route 66 did not disappoint and we found ourselves in a charming Best Western with incredible evening views. “You will want to eat at the Wagon Wheel,” the concierge said. “It’s like a Cracker Barrel only local and better.” It did not disappoint. Sitting among wagon wheel lights, guns, cigarettes and beer ads;  we devoured our home cooked meals and listened to the light laughter around us. The waitress occasionally hugged the clients and we left feeling like we were back in the 70’s.

 

Much to our surprise and the 80 degree temperature we discovered a glorious pool and hot tub at this little cheap hotel that was immaculate and divine. We had it to ourselves and it was the perfect ending to a grand day. 

Yes the driving is long but oh how glorious are the joys of my travels! Luv to you all with flip flops on my feet  and my white hair blowing in the wind!

A new adventure

 This is the beginning of a new adventure for Daryl and me. Our retirement date is set for May 31, but we’re making a trip back east to Myrtle Beach South Carolina to try to finalize some plans for when we move from California.

Everyone has an opinion about what we’re to do. People tell me I’m going to be busy in ministry or find some cause to champion. Folk tell us that we will make lots of friends and be very involved in retirement, even though we are going to a place where we do not know anyone. I’m not really interested in planning it all out. I like going with the flow and seeing what will happen, but I’m looking forward to slow days of walking on the beach, riding the bicycle, tending to flowerbeds, and writing. Mostly I’m just praying that my body will hold together for retirement. It’s been a year since my last return of cancer and it has been a challenge.

So as we started on this trip last night, we left Sonora after our Columbia College community course rehearsal. Yes folk thought we were crazy driving that late at night and going so far. But I have a method to my madness. I wanted to lighten the load for the second part of the journey so we wanted to get to Fresno Monday night. 

It was an absolutely magnificent drive. There was little traffic and Lagrange Road, while being a bit of a challenge with its bumps, was a solitary drive through a starlit night. DARYL and I witnessed a shooting star and felt immediately blessed and our trip sanctioned with the holy light.

Someone suggested to me that moving is dreadful. That the unknown is difficult. I don’t really see it that way. It’s an adventure, and I am up to the challenge. This particular trip is going to be full of magnificent surprises. The young gentleman at our hotel last night was effusive with his welcome and I felt like I was a special guest. That’s one of the great joys of travel. You get to meet so many interesting people and see so many delightful things.

Some of you had asked if I was going to Blog about the trip so I will do so when I have time. It feels like a special blessing to be able to relax this morning, have my devotions and wonderful breakfast with my husband. Already I am starting to feel my body ease into vacation mode.

Wherever your path takes you today, may you find blessings in the ordinary. Be sure and share a smile along the way. Joy in the journey!

Paperwhites at the ranch

February 1, 2020 - It's a beautiful day here in the Sierra Woods where I live. Yes, it's winter but today the temperature is in the 60's. I am compelled to write as I recall the most recent events in my life.

Just two weeks ago, my sister in law, Pat Jordan, died suddenly, leaving my dear brother Ricky bereft. He had no time to prepare as she died of a pulmonary embolism. I was blessed to be with him for five days. Sometimes we would talk about her life and other times we just sat in the quiet at his beautiful ranch and listened to classical music together.

When I returned to California, I was scheduled to attend a clergy retreat on "Pastors and natural disasters." The timing seemed perfect as I had just experienced my own loss but I wasn't prepared for the giftedness of the event.

I won't go on about the content, but the pastors I met enthralled me. In this day and age when a number of churches are dying, clergy are sometimes less than authentic and continually fuss about their parishes; this group is totally committed to service and loving God. The richness of our sharing will carry me for many days.

Light beaming through the clouds

I write today because I want to declare that parish ministry is alive and well. In my own congregation, we are growing - both in numbers, in faith and in service. We have sooo many leaders in our church who step up to the work every day. This week as I was walking around the property I noticed that trees had been trimmed, the garden had been cleaned, the rubbish had been removed, the kitchen cupboards were organized. I had to ask around quite a bit to find out who had done this. It seems a whole cadre of people! Parishioner had reached out to the visitors who were in church last Sunday without my participation. Our parish care team took care of those who were ill. The clergy I met at the retreat also proclaimed of many good things happening among them.

Friends, we can be discouraged about the plethora of problems facing us now or we can BE THE CHURCH and be the light of Christ. thanks to all my colleagues, friends and family for being the light for me!

St. George Chapel

January 12, 2019
Just this week I learned that a friend and colleague passed away. "Passed away" doesn't quite seem to fit him. He was big on the wisdom mothers and fathers of the desert so maybe he just quietly slipped into eternity with them.  His name is Dr. Charles Melchert and we called him Chuck. I first met him when my husband Daryl was co-teaching with his wife Anabel at Lancaster Theological Seminary.

Chuck and I got to be friends because we would often drive to places where our spouses were performing as they led the seminary Arts Ensemble team on tour. I also had him as one of my professors when I went to seminary. But more than being a theological giant, which he was, more than making complex things understandable, which he did, I loved him for his laugh and his ability to have fun, even amid sorrow.

Chuck and I shared something in common that while it can be a strong bond, I do not wish on anyone. Both of us had sons who died when they were in there 20's. His to an automobile accident and mine to suicide. We didn't talk a lot about it, but I remember two specific times when his presence was an incredible blessing regarding this loss. We were paired in a writing class led by the singer Carrie Newcomer. The assignment was to write:  Before..... and then After:........

It was only a year after my son died so I sat there, knowing that what I would write would only be sadness. I can't remember to this day what Chuck wrote - although I know we discussed it. I wrote, Before my son died, I had so many dreams for him. I looked forward to every time we were together. After he died, all I can do is cry. As we reflected on what we had written, I asked Chuck, "does there ever come a time when you don't cry?" "No," he said, "I cry a little every day." You know, somehow that healed me more than all the well wishers who kept telling me that it gets easier with time. That is not comforting by the way!

Another time we were together in Europe and it so happened that Chuck and I were standing in front of a statute of "The Pieta." We stood there, both of us weeping openly. "She shares our sorrow," I told Chuck, "like us, she lost a son." "You are right," he answered and we both fell silent. It was another moment of dealing with our grief. It was uncanny that both of us were at the same place at the same time. Almost like the Divine One knew I needed a companion at that instant.

The other side of Chuck that made him such a wonder in my eyes was his ability to laugh. He would throw back his head and his deep laugh emanated from his entire being. He loved good stories, good wine and great beers. He taught Daryl and me to fly fish and I'll never forget his approach to mosquitoes. I kept complaining about getting bit, "just don't scratch" he advised, "then it won't itch." Really!?!

He was wise as well as fun. One time when I was preparing for a sermon (still a student) I was confounded about how to make the text come alive and do it in fifteen minutes. So I called him distressed. "Chuck," I exclaimed, "there is just too much in this passage. How will I ever get through it and make it plausible to a congregation in a little sermon?" "You can't," he said, "Just pick one theme and go with it." That advise has helped me for over fifteen years as I write sermons. When I am tempted to make a sermon into a theological paper, I recall his words and hone in on one nugget.

As I remember Chuck today, my heart is blessed. Death is all around me these days. When I came back from my sabbatical, three parishioners died within the first two weeks. Even the woods seem dead, buried beneath snow and layers of pine needles. But it's okay. Death reminds me of the treasures I have in life, of the people who impact me and bless me. So as I move into the work of this hour, I breathe a prayer of comfort for Chuck's wife Anabel and a prayer of blessing for life. Amen.

Second Chances

I met Ragu at Kertiyasa, the bungalow villa where I stayed for a month in Bali. It is an enchanting place. The lush greenery envelopes the ground and the mating turtle doves' cooing invite love and wonder across the paths.

The steps at Kertiyasa

     Ragu seems to be a manager of sorts, although he works on the lawn, greets customers, helps hack down coconuts and has a plethora of information. There is no hierarchy apparent to my eye, but a cooperation that supersedes roles. Each worker is graceful, happy, tender and eager to assist at every request.
    This particular exchange with Ragu that has lingered and made a mark on my heart, happened early one morning. I noticed from a distance that Ragu was crouched low to the ground and picking up dead flowers that had fallen from the bushes and the trees. Bright yellow and red ones were scattered on the grass. He carried them softly in his hands and began to place them at the inner cracks of the steps where they would not be trampled. He saw us coming and stood quickly to greet us.
"That is beautiful." I said.
 "I give the flowers a second chance," he beamed as he spoke.
  Something inside me awakened and flashing before me were all the dried and wrinkly petunias that I had "dead-headed" as we called it. Daily I would snip the old flowers and pitch them. Yet, here he was making something one might consider useless, or event past its prime - a thing of beauty. Every step was a majestic welcome.

Ragu cutting coconuts for us

  I was struck with wondering just how many times I dismiss people and things as "no longer being useful."  His very action was giving new purpose to the flower. It jolted me a bit as I thought about second chances. Too often when people have wounded me or screwed up, it has been easy to write them off as unnecessary and trouble in my life.  I felt both shame and wonder.
   I like second chances. I am a person who doesn't easily get it right the first time. I think second chances are about forgiveness, but even more so - about raising one to a greater beauty. It's such a slight paradigm shift, but oh so powerful. Too often I judge people's value by what they do or what they have been. I am often blind to the potential of growth, love and possibility when I am stunted by seeing people as they were, not as they can be.
Over and again, my time here in Bali teaches me that beauty is reborn whenever I open my eyes to see it. Thank you Ragu for teaching me about second chances!

Our morning walk

Leaving for Bali - an Unsettled Delight!

It is a beautiful day as we leave for the airport in San Francisco. It's chilly here in the beautiful Sierrra mountains and I guess we shall love it for where it are going promises to be hot and humid.

You might be wondering about the title of my post. It has a dual meaning. The program in which I am participating is called Unsetteld.com. I call it a Delight for I think it is going to be exactly what I was hoping to find in my sabbatical journey. In addition to being refreshed physically, I wanted to have my mind challenged, my spirit embraced and new experiences to help me open to the many ways God is speaking to me and the parish I serve.

So off to Bali we go! It is a spiritual place with so many temples that it is called the "land of the gods." I long to pray and meditate, to find new balance.

Being a pastor is work and a calling I love. The last five years have been an incredible blessing and I thank God for the way the parish and I have grown. But I am ready to be renewed, open to possibilities that will help me live with deeper gratitude and compassion.

Today my prayer was that I would be aware of the love of God in every moment, every encounter and  so far it is just that.

We had lunch at the Yucca restaurant in Standford Shoppng Center. Then a short nap as we prepare to board at 1:15a.m. It will be on to Hong Kong, then to Singapore, then to Bali! Phew! I think I'll need to sleep when I get there!

Already I have met people in the service industry who are kind and accomodating. What a great way to start our journey!