Sunday, November 14, 2010

A Lamp - Week 2 - Day 1

Psalm 119:97-112 Lately we have been having discussions about the Bible. First in Sunday forum and then in Confirmation class. We have studied the history of the Bible and heard scholars speak about the hosts of new discoveries and probably errors in some of the translations we have.

We could get bogged down in all this, especially when the Bible is used as a weapon to defend a selfish interest, but this great book is filled with stories, poetry, advice, parables, predictions and much more that lead us to the Almighty God. Some say that it is an ancient book that has little relevance to us today.


However, I like the way the Psalmist states it, Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. The lamp shines most brightly when I live it in context of my fellow Christians at St. Peter's. Week after week we come together to delve into the scriptures to seek how God wants us to live. It is part of our covenant with God and each other. When we discern together what the scriptures say to us, then it is light to ourselves and others.

I invite you to be part of a small group so you can delve into this Holy Book together. There is much wisdom to be learned from the Bible and reading it in context of the larger faith community. As many of you know, I keep telling you that it is time to stop drinking milk and started eating meat with regards to studying the Bible. It is time to move beyond knowing the stories you heard in Sunday School and grow into a deeper relationship with God that gets you to wrestle with the texts and discover the wisdom hidden there.

As always, I am available for discussion and prayer time. So go ahead, open the Bible and be amazed!

Reflections and Journaling
Blessing: What does this passage tell you about the Bible? When did you first come to appreciate reading the Bible? Tell of a time when the scriptures carried you through tough times.

Challenge: What is keeping you from reading the Bible daily? How do the scriptures challenge your life? State what you believe about the way the Bible guides you.

Prayer: Loving God, open your words to me so that I may understand them and give hope to others. Stir me to spend more time readying the Bible so I will gain wisdom for life's tough questions. protect me from ever using your Holy Word as a weapon to punish or demean others. Show me your light and love in these scriptures. In the name of Jesus who explained the law and moved beyond it. Amen

Friday, November 12, 2010

A Generous Heart Psalm 51

Lately, I've been reading and thinking a lot about generosity and giving because our parish is ready to bring our pledges to the altar this Sunday. In my devotional time yesterday, I discovered that I am not as generous as I once thought. Oh, you could probably ask anyone who knows me and they would tell you that I am quick to share what I have with others, but my prayer time yesterday revealed a side of me that is quite stingy. It caught me up short and lingers with me even now.

God is not only asking me to give my money, my time, my possessions, and my talents for the good of all, but also my will. Yuck! This is where I had to look in the mirror and see myself for who I really am and it surprised me that I am more able to give all these other things to God but my will is where I hang on tightly.

For example, many years ago, my foster sister was murdered by her husband. It is a wound that still hurts today. As a family we did all we could to intervene in their violence but to no avail. I spent many years wishing something terrible would happen to him. One of my spiritual guides about twelve years ago helped me work through this. "Imagine," he said, "that God is holding both of you in God's arms. God is healing the wounds of both of you together." Well I have to tell you that I did not like that image at all. First of all, I wasn't the one that committed that heinous crime and secondly, I did not want to be in God's arms with that evil man.

Yet it soon became clear that God's love was way bigger than me. To love God was to love all that God's holds closely too. It took some time but I prayed that God would give me a gentle spirit towards this man and now I am able to ask God to bless him and bring wholeness to his life.

One would think that after a traumatic experience like this, I would be great at giving my will over to God -that I would be generous with what others need and want. However, it is still a continual battle - especially at times with my family. When others make plans that leave me out or expect me to acquiesce to what they want, I struggle. Yesterday's prayer time challenged me to give it ALL to God- my spirit AND my possessions. It puts a whole new meaning on STEWARDSHIP!

Yet the reward is great when I give my will to God. God opens new windows and changes old attitudes. Oh, it's not a quick fix or easy, but the gently prodding of God opens my eyes to ways in which I can be generous for the good of all. So God, just what will I put on my pledge sheet? Is there a place for a stingy heart? Of course there is - God will create in me a clean heart and a right spirit I am sure!

Reflection and journaling
Blessing: What part of your spirit is generous? When is it easiest for you to give your life for the good of others? It is you ears, your mind, your heart, your hands, your feet, your possessions? How do you bless others with your will?

Challenge: Where do you struggle in the challenge to have a clean heart before God? How do you give up your own way when you know God is asking you to do this? How might living with a generous spirit change your relationship in your family? in the church? at work? in the neighborhood?

Prayer: Forgiving God, thank you for loving me just the way I am. Stir me to give all of me to you, holding nothing back. When I am tempted to be selfish and insist on my own way, nudge me to turn to your vision of generosity. Open my eyes to see that loving you means loving others as myself. In the name of Jesus who gave his all, Amen.

Monday, November 8, 2010

If Only...


Day 5 – If only….
I Timothy 6:17-18

Our parish is in the midst of a time of discernment regarding our finances. This week we will write down our pledges and bring them to church and offer them to God during our offering time. It is amazing how little folks want to talk about this. I find it puzzling. We tell stories of our families, we share our struggles, we celebrate our joys, we spend endless hours talking about how to grow our congregation, but few people will open up and talk about money.

In some cultures the amount each family gives is posted in the Sunday bulletin. Wow! That would probably empty the pews in our parish! What would happen if we shared with one another things such as, “I’ve decided to increase my giving by 2%” or “I’ve decided to donate one day a month to working in our parish?” These kinds of conversations are pretty much unheard of because I think we have some false sense that this is being prideful or no one else’s business. We somehow dance around these money issues and are very secretive about finances. I think we would all agree that we want our say about how the church money is spent and are openly verbal about it in our meetings, but rarely do we stand up and share our own faithful stories of blessing and giving.

I am discovering that it is usually out of fear that we hold back – we are fearful someone might find out how much money we make, fearful folks will find out we give little of what we have, fearful folks will find out we are generous, fearful folks will judge our spending habits and way of life. Living in fear stymies us and surely does not enhance growth, change or the power to love.

Let’s make a change. Let’s begin to live generously and start to talk about it! One of my favorite times of our service is the offering because it’s not about me – it’s about God. It’s the one moment when we say, God, here you are – take this gift and multiply it for YOUR good. The mystery of what God may do with it excites me. Oh sure, we pay the bills with it, (my salary included) but every week it seems, a new request comes to the doors at St. Peter’s. I am learning to ask God, “How shall we respond?” It is then that we depend on those monetary gifts and those gifts of groceries to centime to bless whoever comes in the door.”

In today’s reading, the Christians are reminded to “to do good, be generous, ready to share and in so doing, will store up a foundation for the future, to take hold of life that is really life.!” Now that’s giving!

Sometimes people say to me, Pastor Bonnie, if I win the lottery, I’ll make sure the church meets the budget and can feed all the hungry. Or another person said, “If I win the lottery, I’m giving half of it to the church.” While on the one hand this seems generous, it is unrealistic and not really about faithful giving.

I’d like to suggest that our stewardship is about blessing. Folks, you may not realize it, but we have already won the lottery! The lottery of life that is! Are you aware that we live in abundance??? When was the last time any of us had to hunt for food or shelter? When did we stay up all night of thirst because we had no clean drinking water? When did you sew some rags together so you had something to wear? Or on a more realistic level – are any of our cupboards at home empty? I think not! It’s usually more a thought of – well what shall we eat today? We ARE the wealthy! We don’t need to wait for the lottery to give a portion back to God. Let’s give it now and build a sure foundation!

Reflection and Journaling
Blessing: Make a list of your gifts from God. Thank God for them, rejoice in them. Do a little dance, if you will, as you praise God for the joys, things, money, and people in your life.

Challenge: What does being generous mean to you? What are your fears about sharing with your covenant community about money? How might telling your story of faithful giving ignite joy in others? Is God asking you to do more or give more? If so, how and are you willing to do it?

Prayer
Generous God, it’s hard to talk about money and giving to the church. I like my private life and not having to be responsible to others about how much I give. Keeping all this to myself makes me feel more comfortable. Yet, here I am, part of a family of God, working together to do ministry in our neighborhood. Take away my fear and replace it with a joyful boldness to share the good news of how you are blessing me. Show me how I can be generous and build a true foundation. Thank you for the abundant life I richly enjoy. Amen

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Will of God

I remember when I did my CPE at a mental health hospital. I was assigned to the adolescent unit and the second week I was there I was assigned a young girl who had been sexually abused by her father on repeated occasions. Naturally she was frightened, sullen, but most of the time she cried. She could barely speak a sentence before she would cry. Now I did not know all this when it was my turn to have the chapel presentation for the day. So I spoke of God’s goodness and God being with us no matter what. I thought I did a pretty good job and it wasn’t until I was called to come speak with a young girl who was “flipping out” as they told me on the phone. I arrived on the unit to find this girl screaming and kicking on her bed and yelling. No, no, no, God doesn’t care, God doesn’t understand.
I walked in quietly and sat on the chair at her desk and didn’t say anything for a bit. Soon she quieted down and looked at me – You are a liar. You don’t know anything about God. Your God is a hoax.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I guess the God I was talking about let you down, right?”
“You bet,” she said. “No God who loves me would let bad things happen to me.” She was yelling by now. “I hate your God!”
“Yep,” I said, “you have reasons to hate God.” (I was thinking to myself – what kind of pastor am I telling this girl she has reason to hate God – isn’t this blasphemy or something –but I plunged ahead)
She sat up and looked at me startled. “Are you telling me you agree with me – you preacher person who touts all this junk about a loving God? What kind of Christian are you anyway?” She was still yelling.
“A real one, I hope. I don’t believe in that kind of God – that controls everything we do. I don’t think God has anything to do with the abuse you took. I think God hates it as much or more than you or I. I imagine that God is filled with rage about it too. I am sure God is crying for you this very minute.”
Her eyes got kind of wide and she said, “that’s not what my pastor said. He told me that I must have done something bad or bad things would not have happened to me.”
Now I knew I was on dangerous ground here now because I definitely was going to contradict her pastor – but it had to be done. She was a member of a congregation and this what was they believed. If you live right, good things will happen, if you sin, bad things will happen.
I moved to sit by her on the bed and she scooted close to me. “Look,” I said, “the God I know loves us no matter what. God hates sin, God hates when people do bad things, but God loves us no matter what. Sometimes it does not make the sin any better but it gets us through the rough times. You did not do anything wrong to deserve to be abused. The person who hurt you was wrong, wrong, wrong. What you need is a good dose of love – real love,” I said.
I gently put my arms around her and she cuddled close and wept. She cried I bet for almost five minutes. “I thought I was the bad one,” she said. “Are you really sure your God is for real and still loves me?”
“I am positive,” I said.
“I wish I had your God,” she sighed.
We have been discussing the will of God in our Sunday Forum class. How do we know the mind of God? How do we know what to do when someone is ill? It is God’s will for everyone to be healed? Was it God’s will for this girl to be raped because God did not intervene? Of course not! These questions can get complicated and confusing but I think our inability to understand and articulate what we believe about God often hinders our desire to share God’s love with others. Since we cannot define the nature of God we throw our hands up and often leave the prophetic word of God to the fundamentalists! We desire to have answers and want to proclaim that somehow life with all its frustrations has purpose. Some people are comforted by the fact that God causes everything. Others find that this defies their very theology of a loving God.
We would do well to examine the stories in the Bible and see the multi-faceted sides of God, most of which we can understand only in part. However, to use the omniscience of God to relegate evil in someone’s life seems heretical to me.
The community of faith is where we can come together and dialogue about these tough issues. Let us pray and ask God to grant us wisdom and insight as we seek answers to life’s disturbing questions.


Reflection and Journaling
Blessing: How do you know God is at work in your life? Do you see the love of God around you? Name a time when you knew God was with you through a difficult experience.

Challenge: What are some questions you have about God that seem to have no answer? Do you own feel inadequate to answer inquiries about what you believe?

Prayer: Loving God, there is so much we do not understand about you. We long to have answers to our questions because so often we want things to be black and white. We are often frustrated by the gray areas of our lives especially when we cannot make sense of our world. Turn us away from easy answers and the desire to put you in a box. Create in us a wisdom that is birthed in love and nurtured with the shared faith of our church community. In the name of Jesus who seemed to always have the right answers, Amen.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

God is Always With Us!


Day 3 – Psalm 139 God Knows Us!

Yesterday a neighbor stopped in my office to chat a bit. He asked how things are going at St. Peter’s and I began to tell him of the exciting worship, the forty days of prayer and journaling we did, the new faces in our pews, and the tremendous outreach that is being done by our community.
“Wow,” he commented. “Most people I know today are scared of church. People today are tired of hypocrites and want to go to a place where they feel they belong. Why do you think they are showing up here?”
I love questions like that for it not only gives me the opportunity to share the good news of St. Peter’s, but more importantly I get to discover more about what people are looking for in a church. “A place where they feel they belong.” I keep hearing this.
Today’s Psalm reminds us that God continually seeks us. God is always present in our lives. God knows our every move and all our thoughts. (Well, that’s kind of scary, isn’t it?)
When we are tempted to feel that God has abandoned us, when we listen to the woes of politicians and news media, when we choose to believe the lie that war is a necessity, we can be assured that God is holding us. Our comfort and joy comes in knowing that God claims us as God’s child.
I firmly believe that St. Peter’s is a community of people where folks can reside and know that God is near. Some new folks have told me recently that they feel St. Peter’s provides a safe and welcoming place to examine their questions and relationship with God.
Let’s keep proclaiming that God loves us and knows us intimately. Our ability to rest in this presence of God enables us to reach out and hold the hands of those who wander in and want a place to belong. Will you make room in your pew for someone new so they can discover how much God loves them?

Reflection & Journaling
Blessing
How does the claim that God knows you intimately affect your life? Do you feel loved and cherished? What is your response to this incredible love of God?

Challenge
How is our congregation a reflection of this deep relationship with God? Are you willing to open your life and share with others how God is changing you? What hinders you from doing this?

Prayer
Loving God, you know me better than I know myself. Sometimes that frightens me and sometimes it gives me great hope. Thank you for your continued presence in my life, even when I doubt you are there. Nudge me to share your great love with people I meet today. Shed my fears of intimacy with you and replace them with a yearning to spend time in your presence. Amen

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

the smile of God, evangelism

Matthew 5:13-16 Day 2
This past summer when I traveled to Germany I attended a mass at St. Klara in Nuremberg. The priest was one of the most hospitable people I have ever met. Once I heard his homily, I understood why he lives his life this way. He said, “We are the hands and the feet of Jesus. We are the smile of God to one another.”

What a wonderful way to live – knowing that our love for God can make a difference in someone’s life. Just yesterday while I sat at a red light I looked at the car next to me. I often do this and pray for the person in that vehicle. When I looked over, I noticed the driver had a big smile on his face. He was alone in the car but he was smiling and it made me smile. For the next two hours I smiled at everyone I met. You should have seen the things that happened. Some folks looked twice to see if they knew me, some looked over their shoulders to see if I was looking at something else. Some smiled back, most looked puzzled and some even said hello.

Our world is filled with anger, vengeance, gossip, and complaining. What a difference a smile can make in times like these. The love of God can shine through in something as tiny as a smile. I invite you to smile today – to everyone you meet. See what miracles will take place! “We are the smile of God to one another.”

Reflection
How I am the “smile of God” to others? What does it feel like when folks smile at me? What changes can happen when we smile instead of frown?

Challenge
Today, try smiling at everyone you meet. Think of yourself as a conduit for God’s love. Pray for the person as you look in their eyes.

Prayer
Smiling God, stir us up and cause us to bring more joy in our world. Let us be the channel for your love to others. Make us fearless as we share your grace to those who are hurting. In the name of Jesus who went home with strangers, Amen

Matthew 6:19-21 Day 1

When I was a little girl I had to work along side African Americans in the fields of Virginia. They were hired hands and I was a foster child – free labor to be exact! We would spend hours bent over the ground in the hot beating sun. To pass the time away I would often fantasize about all the things I saw in the Sears and Roebuck catalogue – especially the dishes. “Some day I’m going to have beautiful china,” I said. “I’m going to save my money and that’s what I’m going to have!”
“Honey child,” Samantha said to me, “you best worry about putting food on the table and forget those notions of having pretty china. Food tastes just as good on an old ugly plate as it does on a pretty thing. It’s a waste of money.”
“Is not,” I said defiantly. “I am going to have something pretty at my table.”
“Well stubborn as you is” Samantha said, “you just probably will.” The adults laughed at me and we went back to picking beans.
I am all grown up now and I have my lovely china. It is country roses by Royal Albert. Gorgeous white plates trimmed in roses and encircled with gold. They are magnificent. Almost all of them were gifts from my husband and children.
I’m proud of those plates and we use them often. In the winter we drink tea from the dainty little mugs at night right before we settle in. We use them whenever we entertain. I’m not afraid they will get broken – I love to share them.
They probably mean so much to me because even more than their beauty, they represent a break away from a hard and painful childhood. They are a symbol of a new life filled with abundance and joy.
However, sometimes they remind me of my fondness for THINGS. Especially after I had spent three weeks in the slums of India. I was served with honor on the only tin plate one of the hosts families had. Some days it seems frivolous and wasteful to own such costly china.
Jesus says, do not store up for yourselves treasures where moth and dust corrupt. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Phew! That hits me right between the eyes. Oh yes, I can rationalize and say, I deserve these or they were gifts or they are such a tool for sharing. While there may be nothing immoral about china, what is Jesus saying to me about possessions? I would be lying if I said I can easily give them up for Jesus’ sake. We keep trying to convince ourselves that things make us happy.
I read a statistic the other day that said the building of new storage units have increased thirty percent in the last two years! Are we really living in a recession? What does it mean when we have more stuff than we can hold in our homes?
It is good sometimes to take an inventory of our lives and see where our treasures lie.

Reflection and Journaling
1. Challenge: What are the treasures in your life? Do they bring glory to God?
Can you find yourself in the story? What is the “china” in your life?

2. Blessing: Make a list of the gifts around you. Name them and offer thanks to God for each one. How can you use them to bless others?

Prayer:
Generous God, forgive me when I allow things to become more important than You. Open my eyes to ways in which I live selfishly and turn me in a new direction. Create in me a generous spirit and fill me with gratitude for the blessings in my life. Show me how to use what I possess for the growth of your kingdom here on earth. As you wrap your loving arms around me, stir my heart to make You the treasure of my life. In the name of Jesus who blessed the poor, Amen.